ROCKET SCIENCE!!!

* Eliminate added sugar and refined carbs
* Eliminate all "junk food"
* Eliminate alcohol (particularly red wine)
* Drink two litres of H20 a day
* Work out 6 times a week, at least half an hour of cardio
* Get 7-8 hours good sleep
* Meditate for 15 minutes every morning
* Sit in the sunlight for at least half an hour just before mid-day
* Invest in some good quality supplements and take them as directed!




*************************




I've been really listening to my body/moods etc lately and I have found out - some of it by trial and error -, that the above list can make a huge difference to my health, appearance, mood, fitness and weight loss endeavours.


Ah, if only I'd known all that I know now 20 years ago...but they say it's never too late.


Now to stick with the formula.....

November...

Just a very quick post - November is here and my life is crazy-upside-down and all kinds of busy...not in a bad way, but in a way that I just know I have to prioritise or pay the price when everything falls in a heap...so it means less time on-line if I want my work and family life to run smoothly.

I am still plodding along with C25K. I haven't skipped one session, and I haven't (yet) walked any time that I was meant to be running. That means a lot to me, as I sometimes look at the session coming up and think "No way I will be able to run for 5 mins without stoppin"etc etc...but when the time comes, I just keep on running until the little voice says "Begin walking", so I do...:-)

On the home front, a friend is helping me give the girls' rooms a total "make-over" and I am so excited!!! I will probably post some photos when all is done. My girls have lived this long with a mish-mash of furniture in their rooms, some new, some handed down from older cousins or grandparents when they've downsized...this time they are getting rooms to suit their tastes and personalities and their changing needs as they enter their late (Maddie) and mid (Cassie) teenage years...

...Dreaming of mid-December when everything seems to slow right down and I can stop to take a breath again...


Til next time...

Strong Runner

Week 3 Day 1 of C25K done and dusted today.

*****************

I can not believe I just typed that...see, I've always wanted to run...it has been a dream of mine for a long time. I started C25K earlier this year with Leonie, who was also doing 12WBT at the time (and still is, I believe). We would run together with Leonie holding her iPhone and telling me when to run and when to walk. It was working well until the pain in my foot got too much and I decided to do something about it.

After about four months of wearing a little tear shaped insert in my shoes I can report that I am pain-free and can even wear high heels for a couple of hours without pain.

So I decided to give C25K another go, this time on my own, listening to some of my favourite tunes and at the gym on the treadmill...I am not being my usual perfectionist self and although I would eventually like to run outdoors I figure this is a good way to learn.

Previously I would say "I can't run"...I had tried running, but would always get stitches and simply couldn't breathe properly. I would last a couple of minutes and my lungs would feel like they were about to explode, my throat felt like it was on fire...it was awful.

I have been following C25K for three weeks now and it dawned on me recently that I am just plodding long very nicely, with none of those symptoms showing up at all...

Last week, during one of my sessions, I noticed something. When I hear the little voice that says "Begin running", I also hear another *voice* that says "shoulders back, chest open, arms loose, chin up"...and then it hit me!! When we started C25K all those months ago, Leonie attended a running clinic a few times and she would share what she'd learnt with me...those tips were given to her and she would always remind me whenever we had to run...How cool is that? It's stayed in my memory and become second nature. Wow!

I have been quite easy on myself in that I am not stressing about how many calories I burn during my *runs*...and apart from a RPM class here and there, that is all I have been doing.


So, it's time to crank things up a little.


Time to become a STRONG RUNNER....


The idea is to complete C25K Week 3 and then start adding some strength training in there. I have some excellent training ideas/programs collected over the last few years which have served me very well.


I am actually getting quite excited about my workouts, which is a place I haven't been for ages. Nice. Hold on to it. Bottle it, maybe?


Now it's off to bed with a cuppa and some magazines...but first, I might have a nice long stretch.

Good night all.


x

Weigh in

Loss - 800g  (1.7lbs...sounds better in pounds :-) )

Not great but it's a loss.

Workouts are getting better and more regular, but I'm feeling very hungry..time to start tracking everything I eat again to bring in some bigger losses.

Love Thy Neighbour...?

We've been in our current home just over 12 months now...we know most of our neighbours by sight, a couple of them by name but because of the nature of the street, we've been able to keep to ourselves as much as we want to.

We live in a "cul-de-sac", with our three acres being at the very end of it and our driveway is fairly steep, so in fact we are down in the valley and are the most secluded property in our street.

There is a couple who live about 4 doors up from us and they have a little four year old girl. They seem nice enough and we sometimes run into them at the coffee shop and sometimes stop for a quick chat if they're out in their yard when we walk or drive past...


The other day I posted on FB that I'd started C25K...I haven't been on FB long, and I honestly use it to have some fun - no negativity or bitchiness allowed, the minute it gets there I'm out...

Anyway, this neighbour, Kim, friended me on FB a couple of months ago and sometimes comments on my status etc

Michael ran into her and her husband the other day and she asked him what C25K was...Michael explained, and she immediately said "Tell Sandra I want to run too...ask her can I do C25K with her..."



****************

I don't know why, but this sent me into a total spin...I am loving my C25K time...I just put my earphones in, shuffle my C25K playlist and off I go, doing as I'm told and feeling such a sense of achievement. It's becoming a little bit of time that I really look forward to and somehow, the thought of sharing it with someone else makes me uncomfortable...

If you remember, earlier in the year I tried running with a "buddy", but then my foot pain flared up and when I took time off to get that fixed, she moved on and is now running fun runs all over the place...

I proved then that it doesn't work learning to run with someone else - we are all going to take a different time to get there. Add to that the fact that I literally run "on impluse"...I know *which* days I'm going to run, but then it's usually a case of finding a free hour during the day, grabbing my stuff and heading to the gym, which brings me to another thing - I have been running on the treadmill. Sure, my aim is to some day hit the trails or the pavement but for now, the treadmill suits me fine...how am I supposed to run *with* this woman on treadmills...?


So now I'm feeling all kinds of nasty and my *inner Sandra Dee* is pointing her finger at me and telling me that I'm looking for too many excuses not to include Kim in my C25K and that I should be nice...because everyone expects me to be "Sandra D"...


I'd love to hear from you runners, past and present...did running or learning to run work better for you with someone or is running indeed a lone sport...?

C25K

I'm sure there's a post out there on this Blog with the same title...

I started C25K ealier this year and it was the thing that brought the pain in my foot to a head (is there a pun there?). With one thing and another, this has not been the best year for me fitness-wise, but it is not over yet!
There are still two and a half months left of it and I can at least start heading in the right direction when it comes to my fitness goals (yes, I DO have some!...)

So yesterday I did Week 1, Day 1 of C25K. It went well. I did it on the treadmill at they gym because it was blowing a gale outside, and the gym is only 5 mins away from the girls' school and I had to pick them up.

I did it "easily", I used to have trouble with my breathing...it was something I used to say, like "I have long fingers"..."I have trouble with my breathing when I run"...

But yesterday I forgot all about having trouble with my breathing, I was short on time, so I just got to the gym, jumped on the treadmill and listened to my Podcast and did as I was told...warm up, jog, walk...just DID IT.


So this morning, feeling pretty chuffed that tomorrow I will be doing Week 1 Day 2, I started wondering why I was so chuffed...why I even bothered to come back to C25K. I mean, the first few weeks are hardly high calorie burners, I can burn more calories during the first three tracks of RPM...

And then it hit me (yes, I am a little slow sometimes)...I WANT TO RUN. There, I've said it out loud...I want to be one of those people who say "I'm doing a 10K fun run next month"...or heaven help us "I'm doing a half marathon with Magda"...and let's face it, runners have *great* legs. Yes, I'm vain and will be til the end...I have given thought to leaving a list of "what not to dress me in" when I'm finally placed in a coffin by those I leave behind.

But I digress. Here is my goal, out loud and for all to hear. It's more concrete than any goal I've ever had.



I WANT TO RUN


...and only I can make it happen. One foot in front of the other...stick with C25K and learn, learn, learn.

In the meantime, I am doing well...this has become my philosophy and it's working.

Hope you're having a great week...crazy weather around Australia...muggy and overcast here today - hard to believe only last Friday it was 4 degrees max and we had snow!!!


Must run, I can hear the dishes calling my name ;-)

Not a good start to the day...

Let's just say this morning has not been good, in fact life sucks at the moment, but I don't want to elaborate...to top it all off, one of Maddie's bunnies got out of his cage during the night and we can't find him...it's been raining most of the night so I'm hoping he's found shelter maybe under the house and will come out when he gets hungry or when the sun shines again...

I needed to pop into the supermarket for some cat food and ibuprofen tablets...the minute I got in the car, I started imagining how I'd get some caramel slices so I could come home, make a cup of tea and drown my sorrows in sugar.

Well I went into the grocery store and beat my own world record at how quickly I could walk in and out...it was almost like I was scared of/running away from the caramel slices...and I guess I was!

When I got home I realised I 'm hungry, so I warmed up the rice and veggies I had in the fridge for my lunches and added a small can of tuna and a drizzle of olive oil. My sweet treat is a banana with some PB, and of course that cup of tea is brewing...


The day doesn't have to end the way it began...

Sick

Managed to drag Michael to our GP with me yesterday and we both have secondary infections, mainly in the sinuses.

We are both on antibiotics and he is still in the bad books because had he gone to see a doctor when he started feeling so unwell, he would now be fully recovered...


Anyway, I'm not going to go on about it - just take my meds and keep the multivitamins up and get myself well...


Week 2 Loss - .9kg (almost 2 lbs)

Total Loss  - 2.1kg (4.6 lbs)

Happy with that, at least I'm not putting on weight because I'm sick. I am hardly moving at all so when I do get back into some workouts, I hope the weight loss will accelerate.


Bye for now.

...I sure as hell hope so...because I'm getting tired of being sad... :-(

Wet Weekend

As much as I love the rain and as much as my water tank *needed* some filling up, waking up to a grey, misty and wet morning just hasn't helped things around here...

Yes, I've still got the cold/flu. I'm coughing up a lung and feeling pretty crappy...no thanks to *someone* who shall remain nameless, who is too cool to see the Dr when he obviously needs some help shaking the bug he's been harbouring for nearly a month.

Bitter, *Moi*??? Never!

So I'm afraid it's yet another post where there is zero to report on the workout front, although this morning I woke up with sore legs, and for that split second before you remember where you are and what you did yesterday, I thought "Oh, that must have been a good leg workout yesterday because I'm sore"...only to realise my legs and most of the joints in my body are aching because I have the flu!!!


All is good (and boring) on the diet front, but I've come to the realisation that this is just the way it's going to have to be if I'm going to get out of this rut and drop some weight...I've re-discovered my love of brown rice, so my lunch dilemma has been solved. I just cook up a big batch of rice every few days, and then lunches are half a cup of rice, with a protein like chicken, tuna or boiled egg and a plate full of greens and whatever other veggies I fancy. I drizzle a tiny bit of olive oil over the top and it's become my favourite lunch - keeps me going all the way til I nibble on a few nuts or a cupful of berries in the afternoon.


I must say it's been hard not to sprinkle salt on everything lately. This flu has left me with very little in the way of taste, and everything tastes a bit too bland...


Last weekend of the school holidays, and of course, Cassie has to finish it off with a bang - sorry, that should be Eisteddfod - so tomorrow we are off at about 10am and have no idea what time we'll be home as they are performing in three different sections and it can take up to 2 hours per session, and we don't even know whether there are big gaps in between...


Daylight savings starts tonight - part of me is looking forward to it but part of me says we shouldn't muck around with our body clocks...it will be nice to have slightly longer days - Ollie may get some late evening walks :-)


*******************

I know you really want to know this...

Breakfast - (my beloved) rolled oats with chia seeds, a drizzle of honey and cinnamon

Mid-morning - small skim latte

Lunch - roquette, tomato, capsicum and poached chicken drizzled with olive oil with about 1/4 cup of brown rice on the side

Today's lunch was de-licious...I followed it with half a pink grapefruit, I was craving some citrus (must be this damned flu) so went with the grapefruit. Divine.


*******************

My brain feels heavy and so does the rest of my body. Not as in, weight-heavy (which I don't doubt it is), but more the tired-heavy kind...I am such a BAD patient...there's nothing *patient* about me, I just want to get rid of this illness. Remind me to be grateful for good health next week when I start whinging about something else, please?

So here I am in front of the laptop, stalking blogs near and far, when I should be working...I have been doing the bare minimum but honestly cannot think straight.


Not sure whether I should be seeing the doctor...it hurts on my left side when I swallow, I think I may have a swollen tonsil or something, and both my ears are very sore...I can't take codeine, so am going to the chemist to get some Otrivin, it's been recommended by a friend and apparently should make a big difference in unblocking my nose and ears etc...


In other news, my friend's daughter gave birth to a little girl on Monday afternoon (this is the 16 year old I wrote about a while back)...I sent a big bunch of flowers and a hamper to the hospital but won't be dropping in until this bug is gone. Maddie is acting a bit strange about this baby...she usually loves babies, but at the moment, it's almost like she's trying to say "Why are you making such a fuss of this? If it had been *me* falling pregnant at 15 you would have killed me"...and she's right - but I also admire my friend for making the choice to support her daughter and now grand-daughter and it is their choice and not something I can judge or withdraw my friendship because of it...


Bye for now - if you don't hear from me again,it's because I've died of the flu... :-/

I really really needed to hear this today - but that's a whole post for another day...



"Maybe we need to not care about what others can "get away with" and just learn to take care of our own body, the only one we we'll ever have, and the one for which we are 100% responsible. Envying someone slim who eats junk food and doesn't gain weight is like envying a lifelong cigarette smoker who never gets lung cancer...pointless and petty.  Aspire to be fit and healthy and to treat your body with respect. Expect -- no, DEMAND -- good things from yourself and for yourself. What others do and don't do/have and don't have is not of importance."



Thank you to Norma for allowing me to quote her here. Norma is a no-nonsense, straight talking girl from Boston in the US who knows a thing or two about re-shaping your body and training hard.


Hump Day is living up to its name around here...just the same old - playing taxi to my teenagers and attempting to get some work done while feeling like my head is exploding.



There are three variations to the common cold, they are (in order of severity) -

The Common Cold

The Man Cold

The Sandra Cold


Needless to say, I am suffering from the latter and things aren't pretty around here...

Day 7/112 - Weigh in #1

Weight loss since last Wednesday - 1.2kg


I'm boring myself silly with posting my calories on here so unless I need to tighten things up, I don't think it's necessary.

Weight loss isn't bad, but part of me is disappointed that a couple of days ago the scale showed about half a kilo lower...water etc etc. It is what it is.

This is a good average to aim for, as long as I can keep on losing then I'm confident I'm doing the right thing.


Very cranky with hubby for giving me his flu...he's had it for a couple of weeks, coughing all over the place and ignoring me when I've suggested he should go to the doctor's...

Now I've got a nasty case of it - I feel like crap, and we all know I am *not* a good patient...


On that note, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself so I'll cut this post short and stalk a few blogs before getting onto ironing basket #47  (...I skipped #'s 45 and 46). I am on a mission to get the ironing and washing up to date by the end of the holidays. Term 4 is going to run like clockwork around here ! YAY!


xx

Days 4 and 5/112

Calories have been around 1400 for both days.

I have done a lot of walking, but didn't measure calories out because I didn't think I would be walking as far as I ended up doing.

Saturday I took Cassie and a friend to IMATS in Sydney at Darling Harbour Convention Centre. It's a trip she's been planning for a couple of years. It's the "International Make up Artists Trade Show" and you pay an admission to get in and purchase top brand industry make up at about 30% off.

The girls had a ball and I did a lot of walking around the area, first looking for coffee...found Starbucks, and I have to say "What's the big hype?" the coffee was cheap, but tasted awful...oh well, you live and learn... I hear their flavoured coffees are good, but I wasn't in the mood...

Sunday Hubby and I went to see some Open Gardens in Leura and that was a LOT of walking. My back is feeling OK. Not strong, but OK, so I will probably go for another longish walk today and gauge how that feels.


My eating is quite boring, but it's working for me at the moment.

For breakfast, it's oats with a drizzle of honey and sprinkle of cinammon. Lunch has been either a couple of boiled eggs thrown into a huge salad - green leaves, capsicum, cucumber and whatever salad veggies I have in the fridge or simply 100g of natural yoghurt with a cup full of berries.

Dinner is more varied as it's the meal we all have together, but I try to stick to a lean protein and lots of veggies, where the others might get some potato or rice or gluten free pasta.

Getting a bit of a head cold since yesterday. Hubby's had it for almost two weeks and has ignored my advice to get to the doctor's so I'm not surprised that both Cassie and I are feeling off this morning. Maddie was the first to get it a few weeks ago, I just hope it doesn't do the full circle and hit her again. She starts Yr 12 "officially" next Monday so she can't afford any time off...


Hope you're all enjoying the long weekend...so does that mean we no longer get the June Long Weekend?


:-(

Day 3/112

Calories in - 1376

Calories out - 0

Still frustrating that my back is too sore to workout. It gets painful even after standing for anything longer than ten minutes.

It is what it is...

At least I have my food under control and working on improving my choices from one meal to the next. Planning ahead is key.


Tomorrow is an early start. I'm taking Cassie and one of her friends to IMATS in Sydney, so we are leaving the Mountains at 6am. She has been planning this for the last two years, she's so excited :-)

I will walk around as much as I can, and then just find somewhere nice to drink some coffee and the girls can visit some stalls and check back in with me from time to time.


Proud of myself tonight because Hubby and I were invited by a couple of his band members to go with them to check out a local club that they're playing at in a few weeks' time. I made sure we had dinner at home (so did the others) and then drank a diet soft drink instead of an alcoholic drink. It was tempting after the stressful work week I've had, but that soft drink was my "treat" for the week...


Over and out.

Day 2/112

Calories in - 1290

Calories out - 0

Feeling very frustrated as I felt 99% recovered when I went to my osteopath on Tuesday but after his treatment the pain has returned...I know, I know...patience, and at least I am standing up straight again :-)

It didn't help that I did some "quick" grocery shopping yesterday and instead of a trolley I grabbed one of those plastic baskets...of course I ended up with at least ten more items than were on my list and ended up having to carry the heavy basket around...my back was not happy last night. Ahh, have you ever been to a better pity party? I throw the best around ;-)


I've seen a drop in the scales the last two mornings, but only want to share a weekly weigh in on here. We all know how annoying those daily fluctuations can be.

The one meal I've been struggling with is Lunch. I'm not a sandwich/wrap person, and it's still a touch cool for salads around here...and let's face it, I'm just plain lazy. So I've decided Smoothies are the way to go for me when it comes to lunch.




Does anyone have any links or recipes to some power house smoothies? Lorna Jane has an awesome one on her website (and I think it's on youtube as well). I've tried it and it's great - keeps me going for hours (I usually have a late lunch at around 1pm)

I'd love to build up a list of smoothies that I can have as my go-to quick, lazy girl lunches.

See you tomorrow :-)

Day 1/112

Calories in - 1580
Calories out - 0

I put my back out about ten days ago. Those of you that know me know it's a chronic thing with a couple of discs in my lower back and this can happen at any time without warning...

I was in excrutiating pain for a few days and could not straighten up. Saw my osteopath two Tuesdays ago and began to feel some relief to the point that I was almost 100% by the time I saw him again last Tuesday. His treatment always leaves me a bit sore, and he advises no exercise for about 24 hours after the treatment. I'm still a bit sore but I know it will pass.

Not happy with my calorie intake...and let's face it, all calories are not equal.

It may well be time to put a bit more thought into what my calories are made up of and play around with that.

I've let sugar sneak back in a couple of times since going sugar-free a couple of months ago and it isn't easy to get back off it...

Cassie has cut back almost all wheat products and is feeling so much better for it. I am very similar. When I eat a lot of processed refined carbs my body reacts in ways that make me feel *uncomfortable* eg bloating, swelling in the joints and fluid retention and of course it stalls my weight loss.

Sorry if I'm rambling...I think this was a "thinking out loud" post but I did warn you yesterday.



Have a great day xx

Warning - this blog is about to become a boring food and exercise record...

Hello!


I have booked our family in to our (almost) yearly camping by the beach holiday in Port Stephens.






Hubby and I have been going there since before we were married. Yep, it was the destination of our very first *dirty weekend*...we have stayed at the same spot for the past 20 years now, and we have seen it change from a place lined with rows of caravans to a lovely resort where you get your pick of cabins in every size to camping sites with ensuites...

This place is across the road from a beautiful calm beach and we have been taking the girls there since they were babies...many happy memories and if we ever dare suggest a change of scenery for our yearly break away we are met with much disapproval from the girls...


We are spending ten days there in late January - which means I have 16 weeks to get some of this blubber off for good. Sure, I have an event that I want to look good and feel great for, but I don't want to welcome back these extra kilos any time soon.


Hence the title of this post.

I have been doing a lot of reading of blogs of people who have lost weight and kept it off, and I've been reading blogs of people who struggle to keep weight off and even put most of it back on.

One thing I've decided to take on board is that those who track their food are the most successful.

So apologies and goodbye to those of you who will be (understandably) bored by my stats, but this is a better way for me to record - too many bits of paper/diaries etc only clutter my life more than it needs to be at the moment, so this is what I've decided...oh, and if you're lucky I may even post some lovely pics ;-)

So let's call this Day 1 of my very own 16 Week Challenge!

I'm sure the format of my updates will change and evolve over the next 16 weeks but I will come here every evening to record my progress...


Wish me luck!


S

It's been *a while*...

If you're still popping in here - Thank You, and apologies for being absent...


Nothing much happening that I need to write about. Which leads me to admitting that I'm feeling a little bit...


BORING

I've been feeling like there is no direction in my life...there hasn't been for a while now.

In retrospect, our house move of almost 12 months ago took a huge toll on me (and I daresay the rest of the family) and I'm only just recovering from it all...the house is beginning to feel like our home and so I find myself with this lack of direction...


Sure, we all know I have a weight loss goal but it has gotten zero attention for a while now, and the fitness side of it has also taken a back seat...



My Blog has almost been replaced by FB, although I'm beginning to understand that the two are not really the same - there is stuff I can say here that I would not say on FB...and the longer I'm on there, the more people I barely know or know through Hubby are sending me friend requests...so I accept but then what I post on there becomes less personal and more guarded...




********************************************


I've been *cruising* for far too long now, I need to set some concrete goals and start working towards them.

Life goes on and we cope with what comes our way, but I'm wanting a little bit more at the moment and the only one who can make it happen is ME.


I hope this isn't too criptic - if I had more to tell, I would.



Stay tuned.


xoxox

Feeling good

Since I last posted, I've...

Given up sugar. Today is my 14th day *sugar free*. I still eat two pieces of fruit a day. One day I just felt like doing it (as you do) and said good bye to the stuff.

It wasn't easy. Day 4 was one of the worst days...I nearly fell asleep at my desk in the afternoon, and I had a massive headache. I didn't make much sense, felt all foggy in the head.

Day 7 I woke up with a sore head and blocked nose etc...I commented to Hubby that I thought I was coming down with a cold, and he told me he'd read that it was just another symptom...he was right. No cold.

A couple of days ago I could have murdered someone for a chocolate bar. But I didn't, and obviously something must have distracted me because I haven't touched the stuff. Didn't know I had so much will power.

And Hubby has joined me. He has been sugar free about nine days, I think.


I have so much more energy now. After only 14 days, I no longer need that 4pm sugar hit. I've lost 1.8kg without even trying. And here is the best thing - I don't have stiff sore joints when I get up in the morning...


I've also been ...

Uncluttering the garage because Hubby is going to convert it into my office space. It will be so good to have a space that is away from the house to work from. So excited. Cannot wait. Am planning a gorgeous garden just outside it, it will be the main thing I see from the window near my desk. Lots of colour, Azaeleas, Agapanthus, a couple of Japanese Maples...


I've started to ...

Read "Lucky Bitch", it's an e-book written by Aussie girl Denise Duffield-Thomas and all I can say is do yourselves a favour and download it. I'm loving it and drawing inspiration and insights from every page. Warning : if you didn't like "The Secret", then it's probably not for you.


I'm going to ...

Hobart at the end of the month. It is just a three day conference with all my work colleagues from around Australia. I originally wasn't going to go this year, but my friend Kaz was feeling a bit fragile about running into an ex with his new girlfriend, so I decided to go along and be her date...should be a hoot.



And when I get back...


I can feel a bit of a challenge coming on...I may or may not share.



Feeling calm, focused, motivated and happy with my life.


Maybe I AM a "Lucky Bitch" after all....?

I've been thinking so hard about a title for this post but cannot come up with one...maybe it is just that I cannot put a name to my rants and rambles, and maybe I truly don't want to offend anyone, because what I am about to say is very much a personal observation (of myself)


I have in the past written a couple of very long posts about my weight loss dilemmas and won't link back to them now, most of my regular readers friends have read them and know my story well.


2002 - I found myself a little overweight (10kg) and joined Weight Watchers to drop back into my comfortable Size 10, which is where I feel attractive and confident. I'm sorry if it sounds shallow, then again I'm not - time to act like the big girl that I am and stop apologising for being me (wise words from Hubby on the weekend...another story for another post).
*** I achieve my Goal Weight in 3-4 months. I am full of energy and on top of the world. Then I fall pregnant with our third child. Over the moon as we always wanted a third baby, the last thing on my mind is weight gain, it will come off after the baby is born...

2008 - five years after giving birth to my still-born baby girl, I realise I've well and truly let things slide and I'd like to get not only thinner (I'm now about 12kg over my "size 10 number") but I want to re-shape my body and increase my fitness and strength. I connect with IBO online and follow Sue's programs for about a year. The gorgeous Hilary and Kristin are my "coaches/mentors" and I love the weight training and nutrition programs.
*** The lowest weight I get to is around 63kg, but looking back at the photos I look toned and slim, I can fit into anything size S, so I'm sitting anywhere between a Size 8-10. Happy days.

2009 - I hurt my lower back walking/running on an incline on the treadmill...I am immobilized for weeks and then I decide that seeing as I am not training or lifting heavy weights, I am going to try something I've been reading about - Intuitive Eating


B.A.D.   M.O.V.E.

For someone like *ME*, this does not work...You see, if you asked me to "intuitively" choose between a bunch of grapes and a slice of cheesecake...it's a no-brainer. The cheesecake wins every time. And it did. Yes, I *know* that the grapes are better for me...but hey, I've given myself a *choice*, so I go for the taste experience and eat the crap...


Six months of fooling myself that I didn't need to keep track of what I ate, or weigh myself, or even take measurements...because I work from home, I swapped jeans for elastic waisted trackie pants "because they are warmer"...

My "Intuition" told me I would hurt my husband's feelings if I didn't have a bite slice of banana cake with him every day...and my *Intuition* told me my kids would think I was a bad mother if I wasn't in the house the minute they woke up but was on my way home from the gym instead....and on it goes, you get the picture.


WHAT C.R.A.P.


Three years later I am overweight and unhappy...most of my clothes don't fit me, but my stubborn streak won't let me buy bigger sizes. NO WAY.

And please, before you start analysing me...I wasn't abused as a child. I wasn't bullied or victimized. My husband has never cheated on me, and in spite of me pointing out my physical faults to him daily, our sex life hasn't suffered...I have two normal teenage daughters who drive me crazy but there are no hidden agendas there...yes, I have big issues with having to look after an invalid parent, but honestly - I doubt that it can be used as an "explanation" for my STUPID behaviour with food...


WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY...?

OK, I had a legitimate injury...I needed to take time off heavy lifting and running/walking was not possible.

I *should* have made sure at this time OF ALL TIMES, that my diet was 100% on track. If I had paid extra attention to my diet while I was immobile, then by the time I was able to work out again, the "damage" done would have been minimal...a couple of kg's gain if that, and get right back into it.

By doing what I did, I never got my mojo back....it all just slid downhill and the more weight I gained, the worse I felt about myself and just kept on eating crap...vicious cycle...?

So in saying all of that, I have come to realise that *I* need some sort of structure. I am a "lists" girl. My work day flows ever so much more smoothly when I have my "to do list" with me and I can see what I've accomplished.


I gained 10kg over the last three years because I ate whatever I felt like on a regular basis, sure I still ate the good stuff, like fruit and veg and lean protein, but I also allowed myself to eat rubbish on a more than regular basis, and that my friends is where the buck stops.

This is where I need to get strict with my food again...I wholeheartedly agree with those who subscribe to the 80/20 principal....diet is the most important factor in the weightloss equation.


So here is where I start - Diet/nutrition.

My weight NEEDS to come off. I don't want to travel down the path of Type 2 Diabetes (and I have the family history of it) or even worse a heart attack (I have the family history there too). So the first step I am taking is to clean up my diet, and by that I mean cut out the crap. Simple. I know many of you hate the term "Clean Eating", but I am taking it literally here.

Clean = Remove Rubbish


That's all for now.

It's been a while...a friend's recent post hit home and inspired me to write again.


Thanks for reading.

Such a Powerful Influence...

Cassie (on the right) and her friend Georgia celebrating their first win for the day.




The weekend went very well indeed...Saturday was a bit stressful because I made long long list of "to do's" that I was determined to get through but ran out of time...

Sunday was spent driving Cassie to two different locations for two dance eistedfodds about 70km from each other. We arrived at the first event at 12pm and left the last one at 7.30pm, so it was about 8.30 by the time we got home. They won first prize in both events, their performance was in the "Musical Theatre" genre, and they did a piece from the movie Legally Blonde called "Oh my God, you guys!"...very funny and light and bubbly...I was a little concerned at some of the pieces some schools were doing, like burlesque and cabaret type stuff...these girls are in their very early teens, people...really?

Hubby and I had a great day, had a nice coffee and muffin for brunch while the girls were rehearsing and doing make-up etc and generally just enjoyed the performances and fussed over Cassie and her mates.

*********************************

I think, no, I know there was one factor which had a tremendous influence on me yesterday, and it's so very simple - The Weather - the sun was shining and the sky was blue...unfortunately I can't control the weather, but gee it really affects me lately.

If it's rainy and dreary I just find everything so hard and depressing, really...give me some sun and blue skies and I positively skip around with extra happy energy - NOTE : I am not fussed about the temperature. To me a sunny Winter's day at 8 degrees is the same as a sunny Summer's day at 28 degrees.


All in all, a lot was achieved, including some laughs, a get-together with lovely family on Saturday night and this morning I was ready to face the working week feeling quite refreshed.


My PT today was a one on one boxing session and boy did I love it!!! I'm going to be one sore little vegemite tomorrow but s worth it! Very proud of my efforts.




Gotta fly, hope the sun is shining wherever you are - does it make a difference to you or am I just weird?


Hugs,

Sandra

I think it's called "Inertia"

You know those days weeks when you feel SO overwhelmed by life in general that you don't know where to begin...?when you feel like bawling but you literally don't have the energy...?when you wish - a) you could sleep for a very long time and wake up to everything having fixed itself while you were asleep OR b) that one day would last about 100 hours so you could get everything done, go to bed and wake up refreshed the next morning...?

That's me right now - and I apologise if none of this makes sense as I can't make much sense of it myself either.

Last weekend was a long weekend, and I think in my mind I had planned it to be a sunny Winter's weekend during which I would catch up the ironing, clean the house and still have time to enjoy a coffee on the deck with hubby while he had a break from clearing the yards...


Nature, or rather Life, had other plans.

It rained, drizzled and was a generally drab three days weather-wise...I had a nasty head cold which made me tired and irritable...

NO ironing was done.
NO house-cleaning was done.
...and much to my disgust,
there was NO sitting on the deck because it was too cold and wet...


So on Tuesday I was quite disoriented as I was sure it was Monday but in fact I'd lost Monday and achieved very little...

Cassie's 14th birthday came and went...she has two Eistedfodds this weekend so there was no night off from dance...Hubby and Maddie made her a birthday cake (and a mess in the kitchen), she got some pressies and I've managed to squeeze in a family get-together for tomorrow night.

I have driven the girls all the way to school every morning this week...I have not been getting up when the alarm goes and as a result it makes them late - I need to get them into the habit of packing bags and getting clothes ready the night before...


As the week progresses I have made no progress...I'm guilty of procrastinating big time and cannot manage to prioritise ... it's all very well to write about it but I need to do something!!!


As the weekend approaches, my levels of anxiety are increasing...

* I am falling behind in work, so much to do but where to begin?
* I have exercised a grand total of one day this week...so much for increasing my fitness levels
* By 7pm I could quite easily fall asleep wherever I may be at the time
* the kitchen looks like a bomb hit (yet again)
* don't even get me talking about the laundry...I can't bring myself to sorting through it...have been doing undies and school uniforms to get by
* Cassie has practice for the Eistedfodd tonight and tomorrow afternoon
* Maddie has just announced that she is going to a friend's place for a sleepover after work (7pm) and they are going to the city to a festival tomorrow but she will be back in time for Cassie's birthday party (this only means that no doubt I will be doing some extra driving...)
* I have most of the food organised but still need to round up the basics, like drinks and nibblies...and the cake! - I know I'm going to forget the cake!!!!
* Hubby has just announced that he is working tomorrow...so I have to pick him up in time to shower and change before Cassie's party
* Sunday we need to leave by 10.30 for the first Eistedfodd and who knows what time we'll be back...then it's Monday. Rinse and Repeat.


The good thing is we are having Cassie's party at the hall in my mother in law's complex. That way they don't have to drive over here in the evening (I would never hear the end of it)...and it is also "hand over time" so mum will actually stay with my brother for the next four weeks.

My energy levels are non-existent at the moment, and the more overwhelmed I get, the less I seem to accomplish...I think it's called "inertia"...


To top it all off, mum is going through her usual last minute demands..."Have you washed such and such a cardigan? don't forget I need to see the podiatrist before I go, I need something better to wear to Cassie's party, can someone paint my nails?" and on and on and on...it's like she wants to cram everything into the last 12 hours here...


Even the fact that I'm posting here and wasting spending way too much time on FB and Twitter shows that I am procrastinating and feeling overwhelmed.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!


I NEED TO GET BACK INTO A SENSIBLE AND WORKABLE ROUTINE


I will give myself the next four weeks to establish some new (or long forgotten) habits to get into a routine that works for our family now...

I used to have some *systems* in place when the girls were little but as they've gotten older and things have changed routine is lacking around here.


Can I do it in 30 days...maybe...one day at a time.






Inertia - Inertia has a biological purpose for all animals: to replenish one’s power. All warm-blooded animals require large amounts of sleep to replenish. In some animals, inertia is a self-protective move...There are legitimate reasons for the withdrawal of psychic energy: emotional loss, physical illness, stress and anxiety, and psychological transformation. It is critical to recognize the deeper reason for inertia. For whatever reason when psychic energy is zapped it is not available for consciousness and the person has regressed to a lower level of functioning.
Inspired by Esther Harding’s book Psychic Energy: Its source and its transformation

Room for improvement - Update

Well, we're not quite half way through the year, but I stumbled upon one of my "Room for Improvement" posts from back in January and thought it would be good to go back through what's been happening in those specific areas.


RELATIONSHIPS

Friendships -

Yes, you've all read about it, I finally met the divine Magda and we spent a lovely couple of hours chatting as if we'd known each other all our lives. To me, that's gold. I am quite shy by nature (but a very good actress too) and there is nothing worse than awkward silence...well there was none of that with Magda. I think this friendship is well and truly cemented, who'd have thought?

The Neuroma in my foot meant I had to give away the running back in February...and that's the last I heard of my 12wbt running friend. That's fine. Sometimes people have to put their blinkers on and look after themselves first.

My old friend that I arranged lunch with for March is also the mum of the young girl who is pregnant, and I blogged about a couple of weeks ago. Back in March we caught up for a lovely lunch and booked the two families for a pizza night which happened to take place last week. I hadn't heard from her other than by text to tee up time and place etc so we hadn't actually spoken about her daughter. Well, we all just had a lovely time together with LOTS of laughs and reminiscing about when our three girls were tiny and the things they'd get up to whenever we went out for dinner (we used to do it quite often)...we also found out some "details"such as the fact that the baby is a girl, and that my friend's daughter is taking the rest of the year off but will go back to school part-time from 2013 and complete her HSC over three years...


Unfortunately I haven't done as much "socialising" as I planned to at the beginning of the year, but I am fairly content. We are deciding whether or not to sell this place at all. The market is very quiet and it would be a shame to sell it for less than it's worth. So if anything, I am enjoying unpacking old boxes and deciding what to keep and what to give away/throw out. I guess you could say I needed to do some "nesting"to make this place feel like our home for whatever period of time we spend here...could be a long long time.



Marriage -

Well this continues to be the year of communication for Hubby and I. Let's just say we've had more heart to hearts than we have in a very long time. The good thing is, we (I) no longer need to get into an argument to make this happen. We do it by choice and out of necessity and it's doing us both the world of good...somehow I also think it is helping me with my attitude to the whole weight loss thing...

Hubby is now spending some time away from home with his new line of work, so it means when he gets to spend a whole day here it is really special and every minute counts. Nice.


Parents -

I feel that I am making a HUGE effort to get along with both Michael's parents and my mum but it is a hard task...

I have made a concerted effort to stay in touch with my mother in law and try to visit them regularly but her hypochondriac nature still irks me no end...I just don't understand her 75% of the time, but I keep reminding myself that I don't need to keep thinking "what would I do in this situation?"...
All I can say is that it is a big thing to keep positive with her time after time and takes a huge toll on me. The reward is that Michael thanks me after every visit or conversation and now that I'm handling things more "gracefully" he actually admits that he shares my frustrations and really appreciates my efforts. At the end of the day I guess that's what it's all about.

My mum is also a work in progress...things aren't very much improved. She suffers from depression and although she is medicated, she has regular mood swings and it is very hard to read her.

So in this respect it's one foot in front of the other.



HEALTH

We all know that I've not lost any weight recently. I am about 3kg lighter than I was at the beginning of January. That's it. 12WBT just didn't do it for me.

I tried a couple of other "programs" that had worked in the past for me  <hello Magda ;-) shhh>  but I couldn't stick with either of them.

I have recently started training with a PT. Had two sessions then a break due to her competition commitments but from the 18th June we kick off weekly sessions which I'm very excited about. I have decided the way for me to shed some kilos is to keep my food as "clean" as possible and move *every day*. I've started reading some stuff by Craig Harper which is different to anything I've read before but makes so.much.sense.



*********************************


Overall my life is GOOD. I have taken the approach of one day at a time in most areas of my life and it seems to have given me some much needed serenity. We have what we need, my kids are as happy as teenage girls can be (oh the drama!) and we are lying pretty low when it comes to holidays etc because Maddie is about to start the HSC in October so we want to have a pretty steady rhythm happening to be able to support her.

Sick...

I have succumbed to the dreaded flu that Cassie has been down with for a couple of weeks...

Started late yesterday afternoon...bad headache, sore throat and runny nose etc. This morning my head felt like it had been hit by a truck.

Have been drinking lemon ginger and honey tea by the gallon...there's a pot of chicken soup on the stove with enough garlic to kill an army of witches...


So I have decided the weekend is for rest and recuperation...yes, the ironing baskets are staring at me but I refuse to make eye contact...


I may or may not be absent from the Internet, depending on my choice of distraction for the next three days.


***************** I am looking for suggestions for natural remedies/teas that help reducing these symptoms........please share.

xo

Grateful (inspired by Kek)

Inspired by Kerryn's post today, I decided to jump on her bandwagon and list some things I'm truly grateful and a little proud of...here goes -

* My marriage. Hubby (Michael) and I have been married for 19 years this September. At a time when so many marriages around us are *suddenly* falling apart, this is an achievement. During a little conversation we had a couple of weeks ago during which I confessed my currently low self esteem, it was beautiful to hear him say "I love you as you are right now. I want to grow old with you." <swoon>

* My daughters. (Maddie and Cassie). Yes, they are teenage girls, and yes, I do whinge about them, and No, they are not perfect. BUT they are basically GOOD girls. They are caring and have lovely groups of friends. They do well at school. Heck, I can honestly say they've never played truant, and I'm very proud to say, they have a natural aversion to all things drugs and alcohol...hey, I call that an achievement!

* I am constantly trying to improve my health. I am forever grateful for this body that is refusing to act like it's 47 years old....

* I am grateful for the fact that our business brings in enough money for us to live comfortably - we are by NO MEANS wealthy, but we have enough, and that is reason to be grateful in these times of uncertainty.

* Good health. Hubby, the girls and I are basically healthy. Yes, we get sinus allergies. Yes, we get the odd cold or flu, but we don't have anything seriously wrong with any of us, and that is a blessing.

* I am so thankful that we can live in a part of the world we love. We have a good community, the girls go to a good school, and if we could start all over again, we would live exactly where we live now.

* and last but not least, I am grateful for our pets. We have had many over the years, and they are such a source of joy and delight to us all. Michael and I were animal lovers before we met, and the girls fortunately share our joy in having pets around us.


That's some of the stuff that rocks my world at the moment. It may not be everybody's cup of tea, but it's part of what makes me happy.




Thanks Kerryn for your post today. It is so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others, and as you say in your post, the internet has opened communications to a world-wide level, which can actually magnify this issue.



It is so important to remember what makes each and everyone of us *tick* and look to ourselves and our own lives for some stuff to give thanks for.



So here's a little challenge for you - what are you grateful for or proud of today? Write in your Blog about it or leave me a comment. We are all awesome! Let's just stop the comparisons.



"Comparisons are odious" - Madeleine L'Ongle

Realistic Goal Setting

It was well and truly time to re-visit my (non-existent) goals if I want to get back into the groove of this fitness and weight loss *journey*.

Yesterday Hubby and I made the executive decision not to attend our company's conference this year for various reasons - we don't have any suitable babysitters for our girls (they're at that funny age where they're a little bit too old to be "babysat" but still too young to be left alone overnight) and we feel our dollars are better put to use somewhere else, like a family holiday at the end of the year...

That means my main incentive to drop some kg's and tone up is gone.


                                         ********************


But that isn't a bad thing from where I see it...

You see, working towards a set event doesn't always work for me...it usually causes me so much stress that I just sit there marking months, weeks then days off the calendar until I reach panic point and resort to extreme measures such as diet shakes or fasting /detox - type stuff...and invariably I don't lose a lot of weight and guess what?- I come back from the conference/wedding/holiday with the weight back on and then some...


So you get the picture, I think it's time to do something I've never done before - enjoy the *journey* without the stress of a deadline. I have some goals that I will have a crack at, but nothing too stressful :


* Fit into my jeans for my birthday (I've shared this one with my family and they think it's a good one)
- my birthday is about four weeks away, so it is achievable, I own a wide variety so I'm bound to fit into something

* Work out 4-5 times a week.
- I have found some old HIIT workouts from a couple of years ago that served me very well in dropping the body fat so am looking forward to re-visiting them as well as adding in some resistance workouts and of course, I'm loving my Monday mornings PT's

* Lose an average of half a kilo per week.
- This is a huge change in mindset for me. I always fall into the trap of comparing myself with others who are trying to lose weight, be it on their Blogs or on the forum of whatever plan I'm following...often these people are heavier than I am and have more weight to lose, so therefore they start off with losses of a couple of kg's a week...at last the penny drops!



I really think this approach will see me drop some weight, gain some fitness and what's more important, keep the weight off. This is about changing my lifestyle, not getting to an imaginary finish line.


On that note, I'd better start dishing up dinner as my kiddies should be arriving home soon from dance and piano lessons.

It's freezing up here, but we escaped the crazy weather Sydney has been copping over the last couple of days. I hope you're staying warm and dry.


Hugs

xo

Oops! I (almost) did it again...

I've been getting a few emails from the 12wbt Admin people reminding me that Round 2 for this year kicks off tomorrow and it's not too late to join this ever-growing band of people trying to "get healthy/turn their lives around/lose weight"...

...and for five minutes...I gave it some serious thought.

I made a really good group of friends in a thread on their forum when I joined for the first time last year...we were a bunch of women aged Over 40 and started sharing not only our weight loss capers but also spoke about our daily struggles and triumphs. This group stayed together through the first round this year, and then we decided to start communicating outside the forum as we were being "stalked"...our thread attracted about 5,000 hits this last round...waaaay more than other threads, and no comments from our lurkers...

We wanted to keep our business private, and as most of us had decided not to go back for another round, we took ourselves *away*...

Two of the girls have decided to join again because they need *structure*...last week when I came so close to joining up again, one of them *shared* Week 1's menu plan with the rest of us...guess what? It was exactly the same as Week 1 in the previous two rounds I've joined.

*** I don't feel this was a breach of her agreement with 12wbt as she did not share recipes, and those of us who saw the material already have all the recipes from previous rounds***


So, for me, I think not joining was the right decision...I would have felt like an idiot to go back and pay for something that is sitting in a folder in my desk...

I'd rather spend my money on my PT on a weekly basis and just stick to the basics - Eat clean 99% of the time. Work out at least five days a week and drink my water. ( this is my basic version of what works for me )



**********************************


While I was at the MFAA Conference in Adelaide last week, one of our speakers was Larry Winget (I'm sure you can look him up on Google)

His philosophy was simple, but hit home. He said a lot of people ask him for "the secret" to this and that aspect of their lives...eg -

< insert Texan drawl >

"People say to me : Larry, I'm broke. What's the secret to wealth?...I say, OK. How about this : Spend less. Work harder."

"People say to me : Larry, I'm fat. What's the secret to weight loss?...I say, OK. How about this : Eat less. Move more."



Note to self : IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE


xo

At last...some treatment, and dare I say it - Relief!!!

If you've been following my Foot Chronicles you know that I've had pain in my right foot since late last year...after x-rays and ultrasounds revealed nothing, a MRI said "neuroma" (so did Liz, about five months ago)...

To cut a long story short, today I saw an Exercise Physiologist of my choice because basically I was not impressed by the service I received at the clinic my GP had referred me too.

My "physio" did a full (and to date the most thorough) examination of both my feet and explained a lot of stuff about my feet to me and to his work-experience uni student, which was great as I like to know everything and ask lots of questions...

Once he'd made his diagnosis, he asked me how much of the day I spent in pain...I answered depending on whether I was sitting for most of the day or not, I could spend as much as the latter half of the day in pain...

He then asked "Have you had any treatment yet?"...when I replied "No", he asked me to stand in front of him so he could see how long I coped on my toes etc and for a moment I thought he was going to give me a hug...LOL

Seriously though, I really clicked with him and I think that will make a big difference to my recovery.

He did a lot of manipulation and pressure on my poor sore foot and he did explain to his student that the bad thing about this particular sort of condition is that the treatment is very painful...but he was so caring and communicative that it didn't seem too bad at all.

I have some homework to do in the shape of applying pressure and rolling my feet on a golf ball. I see him again next Wednesday, and I have to take the three pairs of shoes I will be wearing the most so he can insert a little foam "orthotic" in the shape of a tear drop...it's to separate the bones of my toes and relieve the pressure on the nerves in my feet. (That's my layman's explanation of it anyway)

Half an hour after the treatment, I felt like my foot was *lighter*, more *free* and definitely pain-free...it's getting a bit sore right now, but hey, I'm holding on to that sensation anyway.

yes, I can definitely see that light at the end of the tunnel ... here's to ridding my foot of that nasty pain and getting back to my beloved long walks this Winter.

**** and on that note, I am celebrating the first day of Winter! We are lighting a little bonfire Sunday morning and having some friends over for morning tea around the fire....but I did hear that it might rain, so I guess we'll see.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Being June, work-wise things get VERY busy for me for the next month, so I may not be around here much.

Bye for now.

xo

When you hit rock bottom...the only way is up...(I think)

Let's just say this weekend has been draining...emotionally. I'm not sure exactly what triggered it (can't seem to remember as far back as Saturday) but I found myself having some deep and meaningfuls with hubby which left me drained but at the same time have given me the wake up call I've needed for a while now.

There were many tears, a "tantrum" or two...a restless night with little sleep and the stress of having to keep every day life flowing for the girls as if nothing was wrong.

The three days away in such a highly social-based conference were a real eye opener for me and a time to face some hard facts which I've been sweeping under the carpet.

Without boring you with details, let's just say that I came to the realisation that my being overweight is affecting -

* my marriage
* my business
* my social life
* my health
* my self-esteem

In a nutshell, if I don't look good (and "good" may be different things to different people), I don't function at my best in any of the areas above.

During the conference I felt frumpy - I can honestly say not once did I look in the mirror and think "I look good". The worst occasions were the two evening events...sometimes even a well-loved LBD won't cut it, and this was the case for me. I wasn't even able to make an impact with make-up...my skin is looking dull and my eyes look tired.

I also felt unfit - most of the people I went with would progress to a couple of after parties after the main events, and even though I was invited, I just didn't go along. I just wanted to get to bed as early as possible and I guess this could also be a sign of depression...

Summing up, I felt that I didn't project the image I'm so used to putting out there when at work functions - well groomed, well dressed, confident and confident...no siree, not this time.


During my soul-searching weekend, Michael (hubby) said a few things to me that I'd never heard from him before, and a couple of them I'd like to share.

Firstly, he said he loved me as I was right now. The weight is just a number, but it's what that number is doing to my self esteem that is worrying him. In his words, he would love me at this weight for ever more if I could be happy at this weight.

Another thing he said was a bit of a shock to me - he said that while I was away, he was struggling to keep all the balls in the air, and many times he thought to himself that I must be pretty well organised to keep on top of things. This was great to hear as I am my own worst critic and think I am never good enough...


After all the talking and crying and going over stuff over and over again, I came to a couple of conclusions...that I am blessed to have this wonderful man and my beautiful daughters in my life, and that if the way I am right now is not the best version of me (I know this is a current "cliche" out there...) then it is me and only me that can do something about it. Michael will support me, but he can't do it for me.


*******************************


So this morning was my next PT session with Kim...I have done *nothing* that she recommended since I first saw her two weeks ago, so I was a little apprehensive, not to mention a tad frail after this weekend.

Luckily, Kim is a "let's leave the past behind and move on" type of girl...she did however kick my ass with a full body circuit that worked muscles I haven't spoken to in years...oh, and she is very clever at working my core without even mentioning it to me LOL

So, my *homework* has been set. Unfortunately I don't see Kim for another three weeks as she is competing next week and then has some travel commitments. Between now and then I have weekly sessions that *have* to be completed, as well as what she calls "recreational" cardio of my choice to do. Diet will be cleaned up 100%, and here is the bit I like - I have to text Kim after every work out I complete (recreational or not)...I asked her was she sure...I didn't want to be bothering her with my texts etc... and her reply was "It's called accountability, baby!"


So that's where I'm at - I think the biggest thing I got out of this weekend is that I have admitted that I am at *rock bottom*...can't get much lower than that, so the only thing to do is to start climbing back up - one foot in front of the other.


Til next time.


xo

Meeting Magda

Back in August last year, I won an award through my company and part of it (apart from the lovely crystal trophy) was an all-expenses paid trip to the biggest conference for the mortgage and finance industry...earlier this year I found out that the conference was being held in Adelaide! I have to be totally honest and admit that I am not fond of flying, especially "alone"...but the real incentive for me was the chance to meet my blogging friend and kindred spirit, Magda.

We arranged to meet for lunch at the end of the official conference proceedings, as I had about three hours to spare before my flight.

As I got out of the lift I spotted her...a tall, stylish blonde with a killer smile. I don't think the term "blonde bombshell" describes her - she's way too classy. That's just it. Magda just ozes class, a bit like a blonde Audrey Hepburn.

The first thing she said was "Your hair is darker than I imagined!"...I don't think I told her that I'd put a dark rinse in it just before coming to Adelaide...I told her she was taller than I expected...she pointed out her favourite boots - high heels as against my flatties, which I have to wear until my foot issue goes away. :-(

We made our way to a lovely restaurant close by and settled in for a long lunch.

We chatted and chatted and ate lovely food and drank a little wine...

She is one of the loveliest people I've ever met...so genuine and such a wonderful mother...I asked her to tell me Mitchell's story, and she told it with such love and devotion...what an amazing little boy he is. With parents like Magda and Peter, he'll go far.

I don't have a lot of close girlfriends...unfortunately most of them seem to come and go, but I have a feeling my friendship with Magda is here for the longhaul.

She mentioned wanting to do something special for her 50th...and Sydney came up as an option...fingers crossed M! Somehow I think our next visit will be longer than our first!

xo

ETA - I've just read Magda's post and it is so similar to mine - even in the wording...oh well, I guess we think and write very much alike...Parallel Lives...;-)

The PT Post

I enlisted the services of a Personal Trainer quite a few years ago. The person I contacted was recommended to me through a local gym, and I knew her from the local Aquatic Centre...I can't quite remember if I ever saw her teach a class...Pump rings a bell...

Anyway, this woman is about my age and although I know for a fact she has only ever worked in the fitness industry, I was not impressed with the advice she gave me. For a start, she took me through every machine in the gym and showed me how to use it...I did specify in her questionnaire that I was familiar with gym equipment and basically wanted a program written out for me...but she just advised me to do 5-10 reps on each machine...

Nutrition-wise was even less "impressive"...her advice on breakfast was along the lines of "Don't skip breakfast - even if all you have is a piece of jam on toast, then it will get your metabolism going..."

She never booked in any future appointments, her take on it was - OK, we've spent an hour and a half together, You've paid me my $60 so just do what I've told you and if you need a follow up call me in a few weeks. Bye-bye.



*******************************

Fast forward to 2003, when I was a (getting) lean mean training machine...Sue (the above mentioned PT) is now head of  the Gym and Group Fitness team at my local Aquatic Centre...I noticed that my membership included six weekly "check-ins" and as they had a Tanita scale I booked myself in, and my instructor was Sue...

She did my measurements, BF percentage, weight etc etc. Asked me did I have any goals? I told her what my goal weight was...to which she replied "Be careful of losing too much more weight, or you might lose your face..." ???? This has become a private joke with Hubby and I...he always says "Don't leave your face behind" whenever I go to the gym LOL



********************************

Fast forward again to last Monday.

Kim has her own very impressive gym set up in her home. I was peering through the sliding doors, hoping I wasn't in the wrong house when I was greeted by a petite, very fit looking Kim carrying a little blue teapot and the "poshest" cup and saucer I've ever seen...the first thing she said was "You'll get used to me carrying my tea around, and I have to drink it from posh cups - it makes me feel good..." Tea from posh cups...? Tick. I like her.

She told me to grab a Swiss ball to sit on and we basically chatted for most of the time...

About diet, fitness levels and goals...also about my fear of flying and my fear of putting on weight while I'm faced with mostly tempting options at the three day conference I'm attending in Adelaide (Hello Magda!!!)


********************************


We are starting off with fortnightly sessions, due to her and my time restraints, but from late June  I am hoping we can make it weekly.


I came away with two sheets of personalised workouts for the first couple of weeks. They are basically simple circuits that I can do using a couple of dumbells and another one that I can do using my own body weight...no excuses for not working out during the conference!

The MOST exciting thing I came away with was : She taught me how to do a proper push-up!!!

..........................Yes, there you have it. Push-ups have been my hang-up for ever...I could never do them properly. Hubby would try to help me and all he could say to explain what I was doing wrong was "You stick your bum out too much" LOL...well, Kim talked me through it all and five minutes later I was doing push-ups!!! Can't remember what she said, all I know is that I got it...and that's all that matters I guess. ;-)


Food-wise, Kim is a big believer in clean eating (of course). She recommended a couple of sites to check out - one is Tosca Reno's "Eat Clean Diet" - which I already know and love and the other was a book by Teresa Cutter called the 80/20 Diet. I am going to try and get that before next week and might take it on the plane with me to read.



Well, that's about it. The coming week is going to be crazy-busy so I will probably be absent for a while but look forward to checking in after my next PT session.



Hope you all have a great weekend...mountain of ironing is giving me the evil eye...time to get stuck into it...I might have a restful Sunday if I do ;-)


xo

Since I last posted...

So a very quick update here as I am busy to that point where I start to feel overwhelmed...and that is not a good place to be for this little Cancerian because it means I just want to crawl right back into my good old shell and not come out...

I had a couple of drafts for a Mothers' Day post but in the end I just ran out of time and decided to enjoy the day and go with the flow and forget the internet for 24 hours...


I had a lovely day, was spoilt rotten by my beautiful family and at the end of it I felt like I truly am blessed and life is good.

It was the first year in a while when they've actually been up before me - I usually get up and when the girls start to stir Hubby sends me back to bed to pretend to be asleep...not this year. I had a dreadful headache (migraine) through the night and slept in. So I woke up to Maddie saying "Come on, no need to pretend, we know you're not asleep..." but they all got a shock when they saw the look on my face...I was not pretending to sleep, poor darlings, they felt bad about waking me and got me some ibuprofen before breakfast...


Lots of lovely pressies - a scarf, a beanie for my early morning walks/runs, a handbag, a Pandora bead in the shape of a handbag ;-), a cute little pink teapot for one, a box of choccies which Hubby volunteered to help me eat, and a little rooster ornament which we are trying to come up with a name for...

Hubby made yummy pancakes, then took me out for coffee while the girls tidied up and the biggest surprise is they decided to take me to see the Sharks play at Cronulla. I've been a Shark supporter since my teens but have never seen them play...we are not big NRL supporters but the girls love the game so it's growing on us.

Well, it was the best game ever...the Sharks beat Melbourne Storm, who were undefeated until then and are top of the ladder. We had a fantastic time, cheering and laughing - really loved the crowd, lots of families there and a fun atmosphere. So it looks like we'll be back for their next home game in June :-)



We then dropped in to mother in law's for dinner (We'd had mum for the morning and dropped her off to my brother on our way to the game)

Yep - a lovely day.

Since then the week has gone so quickly. I had my first PT session on Monday, but that's a whole post for another time.

I have to confess that I started this post a couple of days ago and since then I have taken the bull by the horns and got down to some serious decluttering of my desk and organising in general. Don't know where I got the energy from but it feels really good to be working in a clear organised space and it has flowed on to the kitchen too and life is so much easier.

I have cooked every night this week, which meant that last night and tonight we are feasting on yummy left overs - slow cooked lamb shanks, sweet potato shepherd's pie and pumpkin and lentil soup...yum - love Autumn and Winter food.

I am starting to prioritise work time and "block" periods of time during which I am NOT on the net or reading blogs etc and periods of time when I just do whatever housework absolutely NEEDS to be done. It's working well and I am feeling on top of things...for now.

Next Wednesday I head off to sunny (I hope) Adelaide for my work Conference, and I am so excited about meeting the gorgeous Magda in person finally. Magda and I have been reading each other's blogs for about three years now and it feels like meeting your pen-pal in person...geez I must be old...did anyone out there have pen-pals when you were a kid...?

Back to clean eating with a vengeance this week. I hope the scales reflect a loss next week (even if it is only water...), haven't been able to fit in many workouts but that's ok, I've got to go with the flow. One step at a time and it will all fall into place...hopefully.

On that uncommonly positive note I leave you and wish you all a great weekend.

Will try to do a post about my PT over the weekend.

Stay warm.

xo

A New Apporach...

As the first round for 2012 of Michelle Bridges' 12WBT draws to an end, I must admit I thought for a very short five minutes whether I should join for Round 2 or not...

The answer was already in my head, and had been for several weeks...No


The program works, there are so many testimonials out there, I can't possibly begin to link all the success stories here, but there is concrete evidence that it is a good, sound plan.

It didn't work for me...let me rephrase that - I didn't let it work. Simple as that. I just haven't been in the right mindset this year, and my weight has fluctuated within the same boring three kilos week in, week out.


Boring, really, but there you have it. I haven't gained weight, but I haven't lost enough weight to make a difference.



**********************************************


So I've decided the whole 12 week challenge, on-line-community-plan thing is NOT for me. I have done all sorts of on-line programs in the last few years...IBO 12 week programs, Weight Watchers Online, and two rounds of 12WBT.

I am not bagging any of those programs or plans. They can all work to educate and motivate and inspire towards weight loss and body transformations. But I've had enough of the "group" thing and need to fly solo.


My own "plan", in my own time, borrowing some basic, sound principles from everything I've learnt from the weight loss industry.

It is not rocket science, and I admire the business women (and the men behind them ;-) ), who feel passionate enough to bring it to the masses...from Jean Nidetch (Weight Watchers) in the early sixties, to Tosca Reno (The Eat Clean Diet) and our own Michelle Bridges (12WBT) , these women have and continue to make a difference to the health of overweight people around the world.



So one of the questions to myself over the past few days has been whether to count *Points or *calories, or indeed whether to count *anything* at all?...



My *plan* has taken shape, and it goes something like this -


Count calories - 1200-1500 a day
Aim for those calories to be made up of mainly "clean", unprocessed foods, with an emphasis on cutting back the added sugar in my diet.

(I don't "do" the intuitive eating thing well at all - in fact, it's what I blame for my recent wight gain of about 7kg over six months, so I need structure)

Exercise 4-6 times a week - the focus here will be to increase my fitness and strength levels.


*** I have decided to do something I have been considering for a long time, and that is to enlist the help of a Personal Trainer. Instead of giving my money to a program that I've seen many times before (how many times can we re-invent the wheel?), I will happily be paying a PT to address my fitness and strength - areas which I have neglected, it's been all about the food for me for too long, I've never given the physical aspect of these *plans* 100% effort.


....and my *Challenge* is an eight week challenge...you see it's eight weeks til my birthday, and I want to be feeling and looking a damn sight better than I do right now...




It was quite a liberating feeling to realise that I have everything I need right here at home - all the recipes from my last two 12WBT rounds, a couple of Michelle Bridges' cookbooks, several folders with WW recipes (I can easily convert their Points values to calories), and silly as it may sound - a brand new beautifully bound notebook, into which I plan to handwrite my daily calories in/ calories out, as well as weight loss progress. I also have an unlimited gym membership, which means I can train at one of two local aquatic centres which are fully equipped with gym facilities and offer Les Mills group fitness classes around the clock.


I meet with my PT Kim for my first session next Monday, so am very excited to see what she comes up with! I first met Kim a couple of years ago, she is a pocket rocket, figure competitor and boxing instructor, and what's better, she is a Blue Mountains local!...only lives ten minutes down the road from me :-)




For the first time is ages, I am feeling quite pumped about my plan of attack for losing this extra weight once and for all...and gaining some much needed fitness and strength...




**********Different strokes for different folks**************



I think that was my "aha" moment.



xo

Should I be Sad...?

Yesterday I found out that a friend's 15 year old daughter is pregnant...five months pregnant...

I have known this beautiful girl since she started Kindy at my girls' school. She is the only child of devoted, loving parents...

We have become family friends through our school activities, her mum was a bit like me when the girls were in primary school - sometimes accused of being "over-involved" by other mums.

She is a year younger than my eldest. She is a very bright student, always winning awards, for both academic and "citizenship" achievements. She is an excellent public speaker, she is funny and has outgrown a slight tendency to come accross as precocious...She has played Rep basketball in the same team as my girls...her mum was a fantastic team manager and her dad a regular volunteer on the bench. They never missed one of her games...



She has had the same boyfriend since Yr 8...I remember once running into her dad at our local Chinese restaurant and he asking me "How are you coping with the whole boyfriend thing? Xxxx has a serious boyfriend now, geez it's hard..."...I didn't have any good advice for him...just shrugged it off and told him there was no such thing as a "serious" boyfriend at our girls' age, and that it would pass.



But it didn't - he is the father of her baby.





I feel like saying to her parents - She is the unlucky one...so many teenagers are having sex but not falling pregnant...


What I probably should be saying is - She is the lucky one...you are a beautiful family and I know you will support her and her precious baby, because life is precious, all babies are precious, no matter the age of their mother, or her marital status...






What is worrying me is that I heard she is planning to leave school...the school has apparently offered that she take some time off and then come back "part time" and spread her HSC over three years...but she has said No, she wants to leave school indefinitely to raise her baby.




What a tragedy if she doesn't continue her education.



I am in shock. I don't know what to say to them.


What sort of a friend am I?



What is the right thing to say?



Should I be sad...?