Restless

I feel stuck in a rut...same routine day in-day out...self inflicted because Hubby and I have no choice but to be focused on getting this house ready for sale...

Only a matter of weeks now to our deadline, and then ... freedom, I hope.

Freedom to go for leisurely country drives, or accept invites to BBQ's and parties...freedom to take up my knitting again, or start on a new quilt.

We've allowed ourselves the bare minimum of leisure time...we go to the gym most days, we grab a quick coffee every day, but mostly, we just work. Hubby on the house, me *in* the house, and the business.

Frankly, I'm not as productive as I could be...I get in front of my laptop, and have my *to do* list, but I just wander out here into cyberspace and lose myself in this world of internet friendships and before I know it, hours have passed and I've done very little.


I'm feeling the need to *create*...I used to go to patchwork lessons/workshops once a month when the girls were little. I'd rush around on that Wednesday morning, packing lunches and anticipating the lovely day spent in the company of some lovely creative and talented ladies...I'd do the school and pre-school drop-off and drive half an hour up the Mountains to Blackheath for the workshop...there I would lose myself in the world of fabrics and quilts and drink cups of tea and eat a little treat and often get some amazing advice from these mostly older women...



I can't find the time at the moment to go to classes, but I've recently found that my old teacher runs a correspondence school...so I emailed her and she signed me up! Early February, I should receive the first instalment for a monthly pattern, and a few months' down the track, I should have a finished quilt!



I'm very excited...now to be disciplined enough to find a little time for my creativity to get a nice workout...


...forgot to add, that I'll probably bore you all with progress pictures ;-)



What do you do *just for fun* ? Do you ever feel stuck in a rut...?

Weigh-in...why am I not happy?

Monday 16th January I weighed in at my highest ever non-pregnant weight - 77.9kg




Today I weighed in at 74.9kg



I haven't starved myself, I haven't spend three hours a day working out (I'd love to, but don't have the time)



I've eaten whole, nutritious food and counted calories. I have ditched the added sugar 99% of the time, ditto the alcohol. No soft drink, diet or otherwise...



I have worked out six days a week.




I am feeling happier, more positive. I am making some great new friends who also value this lifestyle. My muffin top is disappearing. I have loads more energy. My skin is looking radiant and healthy. I sleep better. My husband said I've got nice calves today.





So WHY did I listen to the shitty little voice that whispered in my ear as I got off the scales this morning : "Why are you happy to be 75kg??? That is still a HUGE weight??? Where have your standards gone? pft! What a joke!"

Just a quickie...

Where has this week gone...? Wednesday already, and less than two weeks left of school holidays. I've always loved having my girls home, and this time it's been no different. They well and truly caught up on their sleep over the first few weeks. Loving a good sleep myself, and having a strong belief that sleep is therapeutical, I am a bit unusual in that I let my teenagers sleep as long as they need to. They also seem to have had their fill of catch-ups with friends and suddenly, these last few days, they are content to be home, spend time with each other and their pets and are just pottering around the house. Hubby and I will miss them when they go back to school, and it's a big year ahead with Maddie starting Yr 11 which is the beginning of the HSC for her. Speaking of all things *study*, I've been busy submitting the last three assignments for my Diploma in Financial Services. I submitted one yesterday and already received notification of a "Competent" result. When I checked online I saw a 100% mark, so there you go, not quite sure how this marking works, but it's a pass and I'll take it :-) 12WBT Pre-season kicked off last Monday, and I'm happy to report that something just "clicked" and I'm feeling very positive and making good choices in regards to food and enjoying getting back into the swing of regular workouts again. Yesterday fellow 12WBTer and blogger Leonie and I finally caught up for 4.30pm RPM and we smashed it! Very high intensity class with an amazing energy buzzing through the room. So on that note, it's time to sign off and go out into the late afternoon sunshine for a 6.5km walk. Haven't checked out how many calories I can burn on this one so will do that tonight. Hope you're all kicking some goals. Chat soon. Sandra xo PS - what is wrong with Blogger??? I can't get any spaces between paragraphs etc to work! aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!

Playing tag

The gorgeous Lizzy from "Last Chance Training" has tagged me for a bit of getting to know you bloggy fun.


Here are the rules:

1. post these rules.
2. you must post 11 random things yourself.
3. answer the ques­tions the tag­ger set for you in their post.
4. cre­ate 11 new ques­tions for the peo­ple you tag to answer.
5. go to their blog and tell them that you’ve tagged them.
6. no stuff in the tag­ging
7. don’t talk about the fightclub


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So here goes - 11 random things about myself

1. I had hepatitis when I was six years old
2. I was a big fan of Duran Duran in the 80's. My favourite was Nick Rhodes (the keyboard player), I can still remember all sorts of trivia about them such as their dates of birth...
3. My dad was killed in a car accident the year I turned 21.
4. I love the original Planet of the Apes movies.
5. I have an irrational fear (phobia?) of snakes.
6. My siblings are 16 and 13 years older than me.
7. My careers of choice when I left school were journalism or acting - my English teacher thought I had a good chance of getting into NIDA so she helped me prepare a piece for my first audition...but my parents decided I should go for a "safe" career.
8. I am older than my husband.
9. During my teens, I wanted to look like Kate Bush.
10. I always get compliments about my hands...a few years ago, a girl I used to work with was getting married and she asked if I would lend her my hands for a close up shot the photographer wanted to do of her ring - I agreed, but her ring was way too big for me.
11. My favourite scent is Chanel No.5

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Now for Lizzys questions :

1) Morning or evening person - Evening, although getting much better at early mornings as I get older.


2) How long does it take you to get ready in the mornings? - It depends on what I'm doing...ordinarily, about 15 minutes. Quick make-up, fix hair and spray of perfume and I'm done. I shower last thing at night.

3) What’s your weekly grocery bill? - around $350

4) How much of your grocery bill is whole foods? - around 50%

5) Your opinion of daylight savings? - I hate it!...just as I'm getting used to productive mornings etc...we change time :(

6) Mac or PC? - PC

7) Grab your IPOD and hit “shuffle” – what’s the first song that comes up? Is it a favourite or so so? - OK, so I don't own an iPod...hubby and the girls do, but I cannot be bothered, don't even use theirs.

8) Your favourite blog of the moment? - I'm loving "I will be fit and happy not fat and hippy" by Leonie, a powerhouse 12WBTer who also lives in the Blue Mountains.

9) Favourite pizza topping? - Our favourite pizza place does an amazing "vegetarian deluxe", it has capsicum, olives, eggplant, artichokes and fetta among other vegies.

10) Proudest moment lately? - So hard to say...my girls are continually making me proud...also, our boss commented to me yesterday "he's a very hard worker, your husband" That was a beautiful thing to hear.

11) Your favourite physical activity? - OK, I'll keep it clean...in the gym, it's RPM without a doubt, otherwise it has to be dancing. I'm always the first to hit the dance floor and the last to leave :)



**************************************


Here are my 11 questions :

1. Cat or dog lover?
2. Favourite ice-cream flavour?
3. How many siblings do you have?
4. Celebrity crush?
5. Would you rather go to the movies or hire a DVD and stay home?
6. Where were you born?
7. Do you believe in love at first sight?
8. Lorna Jane or Target?
9. Favourite movie?
10. Did you watch Kate and Will's wedding?
11. Do you have an inspirational quote that you keep coming back to?




It appears that I have many Blogs in common with Liz and Deb, so I'm going to tag anyone who'd like to join in, lurkers included...come-on, I dare you. If you read my Blog but don't normally comment, you are tagged. :)

Room for Improvement - Time Management ... here's one where I need your input!

Well, here I am typing this post at 2.50pm on a weekday...

I think this illustrates my point for today's post exactly...my time-management skills are currently non-existent.

The reason I am blogging now (and reading blogs and forums etc) is because I have a small amount of time to myself while hubby pops out, I've done the "urgent" paperwork that was on my desk today and I've managed to hang out a load of washing...so it sort of feels like this is my well-earned down time...ummm

I am hoping to get a long walk in today, but I have no idea when that will be, I should do an hour or so of ironing, but I know that once I start, I won't stop for a couple of hours which means I will panic about what to cook for dinner when it's too late.



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I started typing this post last Thursday afternoon, it is now Monday...again, further proof of my poor time-management.


Sunday saw me make some headways into getting organised for the week. I always *hope* to do that, but don't seem to have much success. The girls seem to come up with last minute plans that involve me as taxi driver and that can take hours away from my day.

So I caught up on the ironing (except for the uniform and business shirts, but Maddie has offered to do a few every day until they're done), which feels amazing. I also changed sheets and did some grocery shopping, with a menu plan for the week (sort of) in mind.

This is a lot more than I normally achieve on weekends and it's wonderful what a difference it's made to my mindset this morning.


I know that I need to plan in advance a lot more from now on. Time management is not one of my strengths, and it is something I really need and want to improve.


In reflection, I think one of the reasons I achieved so much yesterday is because I had very little time online, I spent about 30 minutes on my laptop in the evening, which felt like a bit of a reward for a productive day.



Tell me, how do you manage your time? Any tips or suggestions...? I work from home, do all my own housework, have two busy teenage girls, and I enjoy Blogworld and Twitter....to top it all off, I am working on some weight loss and fitness goals so need to make time for a daily workout...

One Step Forward....

Let's just say after a few days RIGHT ON TRACK, I allowed life to take over and put myself last ... again...

We sanded and polished/lacquered the living areas this weekend. I took the girls to Hubby's parents because the way the house is "working" at the moment, we would be almost cut off certain areas of the house while waiting for lacquer to dry etc, and as my parents in law had expressed an interest in having the girls over during the holidays, we thought this would tie in nicely...


We dropped the girls off on Wednesday evening. Thursday went pretty well, I did an RPM class, my legs (quads in particular) were aching from Pump the day before, but I thought giving them a run on the bike would get some of that lactic acid moving...

Friday morning we hired the floor sander. I had heaps of paperwork to do, so couldn't help with moving furniture around etc.

All was going well until about 1pm when I got a call from m-i-l saying that they had set out to go to the movies but had turned around because Cassie was feeling unwell and looking very pale...I remembered her period was probably due so suggested paracetamol and a lie down and she'd be fine in a couple of hours - I had a chat with Cassie and she confirmed that she did indeed have her period and needed a sleep...

However I then started to get text messages from Maddie, telling me she was worried about Cassie, and that if it was her, she'd like to be home etc etc. My parents in law had planned to take the girls to the city on Saturday for yum-cha, and Maddie expressed concern about how Cassie would be feeling the next day and how a train trip into town was probably not the best idea...I began to suspect there might be something else wrong with Cassie, so I told Hubby I thought it best if I picked the girls up, and I set off on the hour and a quarter trip...all up it would take me two and a half hours there and back...

Hubby wasn't happy, as he was just getting ready to sand, and he really felt it would be too uncomfortable for the girls to manage without walking through our living areas for a couple of days, but what could I do...?



To cut a long story short - I got there and Cassie was asleep, when I woke her up she was fine, as I had first thought, it was just period pain, and I know that all the girls need is some painkiller and a couple of hours sleep before they can re-join the living world again ;-)


....................................................


If you've read my Blog in the past, you know that Hubby and I have had NO help whatsoever with raising our girls...my mother in law becomes very flustered when anything is short of perfect...she was like this when they were babies, she attempted to babysit Maddie once, and when I came back the baby was bawling...m-i-l was walking around with this crying baby, so I asked, "have you changed her nappy?" - NO......"have you given her a bottle?" - NO

Her reply "the baby cried and cried and it made me so miserable that I didn't know what to do so I ended up crying with her..."

So I've never felt really confident that my girls would be well looked after if I left them with their grandparents, however as the girls are older, I thought it wouldn't hurt...


When I walked in to pick up the girls last Friday,m-i-l said "I didn't feel it was my right to have to look after her while she was sick"...and then "I didn't want to take the risk..."


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!! What risk???? The kid had period pain, give her two hours and she was happy and bouncy again...

Oh, and did I mention that all of Maddie's texts were directed by grandma? Apparently she told Maddie to text me so that I would come and get them...




...................................................................


It frustrates me that something like this has the power to throw me into turmoil and results in me missing my workouts and making less than suitable choices when it came to food...


The floor looks great. My kids are happy and well looked after (by their parents). Tomorrow I am going grocery and fruit and veg shopping. Tomorrow I am going to the gym.

Let's begin this week in a positive frame of mind. I have no choice. I will finish the week off well.


I WILL JFDI

Room for Improvement - Relationships (Part 2)

So now I've got some strategies in place to nurture my friendships in 2012...time to move on to family -

Let's start with Hubby :

Whilst I haven't gone into specifics about the dreadful times we went through in the last half of 2011, let me tell you that our relationship has taken somewhat of a "backseat" in our list of priorities...
Fast-track to the present, and we are on auto-pilot to put this house on the market by February...(I know, you're probably asking what the hell I'm doing Blogging...?) We've "split" ourselves into jobs, pretty basic really, but Hubby is doing all the physical work around the house, and my job is to keep the household going, whilst also running 99% of the business.
Just before the end of the year, something insignificant (in hindsight it was probably fuelled by PMT) threw me into a bit of a tantrum and I lashed out at Hubby and said some very nasty things ... the tears flowed and turned into uncontrollable sobbing and it generally wasn't *pretty*. Hubby himself said a few things in anger and for a split second I thought "this is it - our marriage is over"... however without knowing it, that was our way of letting out a lot of pent-up emotion we were both carrying, and to my surprise, Hubby actually *heard* some of the stuff I said (or yelled at him) and the next day we were able to talk more calmly about how much our circumstances have impacted on our relationship...
We had a couple of relaxing days during which neither of us did much *work* and it was lovely to have my hubby back...then we heard about the death of the amazing Kristian Anderson . Hubby announced that he will be getting some health checks done in the next couple of months, his whole attitude seems to have changed a little...he is very aware of the fact that the girls are teenagers and don't really want to hang out with their parents all that much etc etc, but when I was leaving with Maddie later that day to drop her off to a friend's, he came up and gave her a hug and said, "Chookie,we should never leave the house angry with each other or without saying good-bye"...which was lovely because usually he tries to stay out of their way (he leaves the lovey-dovey stuff to me)
So I think my marriage is on its way to huge improvements this year...only today Hubby surprised me by "asking" me out to dinner at our favourite Italian restaurant...now this is HUGE for him, all the organising in the family is left up to me, so much so that I even have to arrange nights out for us - but it looks like we've turned a corner here.



The other relationships that need Improvement are with my mum and Michael's parents...
They are all in their late seventies, and they are showing signs of ageing...I don't want to have regrets when they're gone...so let's just say I've been giving this a lot of thought and have decided a while back to choose my battles, or better still to choose *not* to battle...Sure they are infuriating at times, and a lot of what they say is annoying...but surely I can let it go and then let out my frustrations at the RPM class the next day ... much better for everyone's health...
Last night we dropped our girls off to Hubby's parents for a couple of days. That will give them some quality time, as well as giving us some time to catch up on work without a) having to taxi them around several times a day and b) worrying that they're not having a good holiday...


So I will make a concerted effort from now on to nurture my marriage by taking regular time to talk about things rather than letting it all build up until it all explodes like a volcano, regular *dates* are also on the plan...I think I'll just wait and see whether Hubby takes the hint and keeps up the momentum with this one.


Aaah 2012 - my wish for this year is to end it in better shape physically and emotionally than I started it.

Room for Improvement - Relationships (Part 1)

Following on from my goals and desires for 2012. I am putting down strategies to improve certain (OK - most) areas of my life which have suffered recently or been sorely neglected, which brings me to

Relationships

Now, a couple of years ago, I made the conscious decision to rid my life of all "toxic" relationships,and basically stop hanging out or listening to people who brought me down...I believe I achieved that, but during 2011, I found myself withdrawing from society a little too much...an old friend once told me she only had a select number of friends because they were like flowers to her : they needed constant care and attention, and if her "garden" got too crowded, some flowers didn't get the attention they deserved... I know, I know, she has a way with words :)


So the goal for 2012 is to re-ignite some old friendships and develop some new friendships that are emerging.

I also hope to catch-up with some of my Bloggy Besties, the first one being the fabulous Magda who lives in Adelaide. I'll be visiting Adelaide for a short conference at the end of May, and there is no way I would pass up the opportunity to have (a very long) coffee with this kindred spirit. Another blogger on my list is Liz, RPM instructor extrodinaire, I suspect when I do finally make the trip up North it will be an interesting catch-up, as she is renowned for her punishing RPM classes...

I am thrilled to say it looks like I've found a local who may just become a Training Buddy. Leonie is a fellow 12WBT member up here in the Blue Mountains and she is proving to be a powerhouse when it comes to motivating and organising group sessions. She has organised a get-to-know-you lunch on 21st January and I'm really looking forward to it.

But friends don't all need to be about Fitness...I have set a lunch date today with a friend whom I haven't properly caught up with in ages. We texted Happy New Year messages to each other and the conversation turned to catching up. We are both extremely busy, so we thought if we didn't put the date in our calendar today, it might just not happen. So we are catching up for a girly lunch in March (my favourite month)

There is also a lovely couple that we used to go out with as part of a group. When that group drifted apart, no one saw anyone else, but we ran into Marie at our regular coffee shop (she goes there daily too) and hubby and I decided we will contact her and her hubby to catch up somewhere nice for dinner one day soon.

Lastly there is the lady I may or may not have mentioned (her husband owns the coffee shop I mentioned above). We met at a Christmas party, and I mentioned that I want to start running...to cut a long story short, she has been running for about six years and offered to take me out a few times so I can get the hang of it...she and her husband are gorgeous and we all get along really well...


So that's my friendship plans...I think just to be more "present" for my friends, and not withdraw into my shell so much (typical Cancerian)...real friends will stand by you during good and bad times, if you let them. This I am learning.



I am excited about the prospects 2012 brings in this part of my life...this crab has been hiding too long - time to join the world again!

Room for Improvement - Health and Fitness

If there ever was a year when I can honestly say that things ended up worse than they started, then 2011 is that year...

However that is all I will say about 2011, it is over and as far as I'm concerned, I need to put it behind me and look forward...that's where the rest of my life is, and I can control it. I read a great quote on Twitter today :


"Regrets and wishes will not change what has been or what will be. It is by taking action now that you will fulfill the best of your possibilities."


So I get that. No point in worrying about what I did wrong last year (be grateful for that, you would have been reading for quite a while...), and by the same token, it is time to stop *wishing*...it is time to start *doing*...and everyday, I can be responsible for what I do, what choices I make and how I react to what life throws at me...


Let's start with Health and Fitness

Personally, my weight is a good indicator when it comes to my overall health and fitness. If I'm overweight, not only does my physical health suffer, eg increased risk of so many conditions which run in my family via my mum - Type 2 Diabetes, Hypertension, Risk of stroke, High cholesterol etc, but my mental health is also affected. Yes, my stress levels rise dramatically if I don't exercise regularly, and I can even say there is a risk of Depression for me when my weight is over a certain number...there is probably an element of vanity there...but that's just me.

Although I did say I wouldn't look back, I need to do so for the sake of this point...back-track to July 2010... I weighed 67kg, had a regular routine of going to the gym 5 times a week, I weighed myself daily and was on my way down to 60kg (my Goal weight)...

Those of you that follow my Blog know that July 2010, Hubby took the leap and gave up his 9-5 employment of 20 years to come and work from home with me in our business.
My routine flew out the window...we attempted to train together, but he works out better first thing in the morning, and I prefer to be home at that time to supervise the girls before school...the result was that our workouts became less and less frequent and by the end of that year I didn't renew out gym membership...
Hubby really enjoyed his new-found freedom as far as working hours and the working day in general (he still does - hey, who wouldn't be glad to give up the 3.45am mornings followed by a two hour commute at each end of the working day?)...one of the habits we picked up was to go out for a coffee every morning. During this time, we plan for the day ahead and review the business etc...nothing wrong with that, except that in the early days, Hubby began to indulge in a daily slice of banana bread, I started off having a bite of his, and then he started ordering two slices, he would have one and a half pieces, and I would have the rest...but half a slice of banana bread *every day* adds up...

So as work got busier, I emerged myself into the business, which left less time for exercise (in hindsight, this is a big cop-out) and we started to rely on prepared meals and take-out options more and more...

I used to weigh myself daily...(apologies to those who don't weigh regularly, or even at all in some cases)...and gradually I stopped weighing myself at all...by the end of 2010, I weighed in at 72kg...that was a 5kg gain in 6 months..."No problems" I told myself "I can lose these kilos easily"...however I was lacking in direction in 2011...I didn't have a *plan*, no action to take, just a lot of *wishing*...no regular weighing in, and no working out until about October 2011. You could say I was in denial. Big Time.

In September, after reading some of Michelle's posts about Mish Bridges' 12WBT, I decided to give it a go...at the same time, we sold our home of 18 years, and moved into a half-finished property on 3 acres... I weighed in at 74.4kg...

I didn't follow the plan.

I had every good intention, but after the first couple of weeks I let extra food sneak in and living in a house without a functioning kitchen for about eight weeks I had the best *excuse* for not cooking at-all.


So here we are in 2012...the worst year of my life left behind me.

I have signed up for 12WBT again...you might ask "why?"... Because it works. There are so many success stories out there, the support on the Forums is amazing (I have made some lovely friends) and I am giving it 110% this coming round.

Weight on January 1st 2012 - 77.7kg

My *heaviest* non-pregnant weight ever. Enough said. Time for Action.

I will post about my journey with 12WBT as it unfolds. Pre-season kicks off January 16th 2012. Bring it on. I have never been so ready for anything in my life.

The goal as far as weight loss is to be at 60kg by 1st July 2012 - that means 17kg in 6 months. Totally. Achievable.

Fitness-wise, I have a couple of goals...I hope to give running a go - I have C25K downloaded in my phone and ready to go. I would like to run most of the Sydney City to Surf in August. The other goal is to do the Advanced RPM class at my gym. I *love* RPM, and I suspect this particular goal may be closer than I think...stay tuned.

Like it or not, I am back to daily weighing, with recorded weigh-ins on 12WBT every Wednesday. I will share my progress and successes here also.


So that's my first installment of *Improvements* for 2012.

More to come.