The other day Hubby was sorting through some boxes from our previous home that we hadn't got round to. In one box he found some stuff of mine, and I found this little notebook that I used three years ago as a bit of a daily journal (must have been before I discovered Blogger).
In it I used to record the date, my weight and the weather in red (obsessed...? maybe...) I also recorded daily events about our family.
In September 2009, apparently I weighed 63kg more or less...if I'd lost weight, there would be a smiley face next to the number... I used to weigh daily. It worked for me. A few weeks later, there is an entry that reads "63.6kg...I think I've hurt my back :( "
- in black pen...
There are a couple more entries for that year, but they are few and far between, and my weight starts to creep up...ever so slowly....
Thinking back to my life back then...I was at the gym five days a week, I was doing more weights than cardio. I was eating 5-6 small meals a day, good clean food, protein at most meals...hmmm... I wasn't counting points or calories but I was keeping track of my food and allowing myself one "treat" meal a week.
It's not Rocket Science ,is it???
What happened? How did I lose consistency? I remember the back injury and it was one of the worst I've ever had. Excrutiating pain, twice a week to the Osteopath, reduced mobility and depression.
*********************************
I've had this post running around in my mind for a couple of days...unfortunately it coincides with my decision to leave the 12WBT as such. The reason is extremely personal and nothing whatsoever to do with the program or anyone linked with it. I have met some amazing people on their Forums, in Blogland and Twitter. Some are already success stories and others are well on their way. This program works.
As for me - my regular readers will know that there's been some *stuff* going on in my life. I am depressed and at something of a *crossroads* regarding a few areas of my life.
I will continue to try and lose this extra weight I find myself carrying. I have the tools and I have the determination.
Some of you may say "You're giving up" or "Why leave a structured program now when you need it the most"...and again I say : I have my reasons and everything happens for a reason....so stay tuned. Keep watching that little ticker up the top.
Right now, my immediate concern is to get this foot of mine sorted out. Just as I'm enjoying my "runs", I suspect I'll have to put the running on the backburner until this gets looked at. But I won't be standing still...gotta keep on moving :)
Bye for now.
xo
Hey Sandra, although I dont know what your *stuff* is I think I know how you feel when you say the time is just not right and you're suffering from depression. Sometimes going it alone just feels better.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that you found an old journal. I did so too a few weeks ago but mine was my 'big plan' for getting super lean following the Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle program by Tom Venuto. I just giggle now when I read what I was calculating and planning - not realising there is this thing called life that doesnt necessary allow you to operate that way LOL.
Isn't that interesting Magda! The journal I found was during the year that I was following the IBO plans, the thing I know now that I wish I knew then is that at 63kg I looked pretty damn good, was building lean muscle and wore size 10 clothes very comfortably...go figure.
ReplyDeleteNice to hear from you xo
Booked flights to Adelaide for end May - it's a work conference so not sure how much free time I'll have but a quick coffee catch up would be lovely...
Sandra
ReplyDeleteI'm not doing 12WBT this round either. I find it all a bit overwhelming so needed a break from the manic enthusiasm.
So, I completely understand your need to take a break, though you may still need it.
I hope things start to improve for you soon AND I hope you keep blogging about your progress - good and bad!
Deb
Hi Deb ... you actually just put into words what I've been feeling - manic enthusiasm is definitely NOT my style, must be the cancerian in me retreating into my shell LOL
ReplyDeleteIt's surprising how "light" I felt this morning after having made this decision!
I will definitely continue to blog about the good and the bad :)
xo
So excited that your May trip is booked. We'll have to arrange our catch up to fit around your schedule. You can contact me on magdawatbigponddotcom (just convert to email addy format)
ReplyDelete