Update

Well it seems that since I decided to do something about it, life is all about my foot...

Saw my GP on Monday afternoon...I made Hubby come in with me because we'd had the discussion along the fact that our GP doesn't like his patients telling him what they think might be wrong with them...so the plan was that if he went off on a mysterious tangent, we would subtly mention that we thought it might just be a Neuroma...

Anyway, as soon as he examined my foot he came up with two possibilities : hairline fractures (but in all honesty I don't walk that hard or run that much yet to indicate this is the case) or a Mortons Neuroma. I looked over at Hubby and he flashed me a big grin which almost made me giggle, which would have been very inappropriate as I was explaining to the doctor how much pain and discomfort this is causing me.


So ... he ordered me to have an X-ray and an Ultrasound on my foot and then he will refer me to a sports physiologist who will administer whatever treatment (more than likely some Cortisone injections)

We got home and managed to get in to the Radiologist tomorrow afternoon (Thursday), so I guess realistically I won't be having any treatment before early next week, which is not a minute too soon as this pain in my foot is becoming a real pain in the neck... :-p



In the meantime, I think it's time for the pity party to be over and done with, I will get back on track with my eating plan and start to throw in some work outs, mainly weight training and will attempt an RPM class with my right shoe laced very loosely and see how that goes.


Yesterday was a bit of a low day for me mood-wise, but I was lucky enough to be able to chat to two long distance friends. My friend Lisa, who moved to Wagga last year, and my Bloggie friend Lizzie who is a wealth of knowledge and amazingly enough, they both left me with the same message : control what you can at the moment ie. diet. Treat yourself well, do some good things for yourself in the meantime.

My ongoing goal at the moment is to take the emotional link to food. Easier said than done, but if I make a concerted effort every day, I will get there.



With that I leave you, more updates on my foot to come.



Hope your part of the world is dryer than mine at the moment.


xo

Hump Day Hilarity

Hubby sent this to me the other day and I haven't stopped laughing since...I know, I need to get a life...

...and by the way, as of today, my hair is the same colour as Dorothy's - although I read somewhere that in the books, she was actually a blonde, but Judy Garland didn't wish to colour her hair, so Dorothy became a brunette...

...wish I was there...

The other day Hubby was sorting through some boxes from our previous home that we hadn't got round to. In one box he found some stuff of mine, and I found this little notebook that I used three years ago as a bit of a daily journal (must have been before I discovered Blogger).

In it I used to record the date, my weight and the weather in red (obsessed...? maybe...) I also recorded daily events about our family.


In September 2009, apparently I weighed 63kg more or less...if I'd lost weight, there would be a smiley face next to the number... I used to weigh daily. It worked for me. A few weeks later, there is an entry that reads "63.6kg...I think I've hurt my back :( "

- in black pen...

There are a couple more entries for that year, but they are few and far between, and my weight starts to creep up...ever so slowly....


Thinking back to my life back then...I was at the gym five days a week, I was doing more weights than cardio. I was eating 5-6 small meals a day, good clean food, protein at most meals...hmmm... I wasn't counting points or calories but I was keeping track of my food and allowing myself one "treat" meal a week.


It's not Rocket Science ,is it???


What happened? How did I lose consistency? I remember the back injury and it was one of the worst I've ever had. Excrutiating pain, twice a week to the Osteopath, reduced mobility and depression.




*********************************


I've had this post running around in my mind for a couple of days...unfortunately it coincides with my decision to leave the 12WBT as such. The reason is extremely personal and nothing whatsoever to do with the program or anyone linked with it. I have met some amazing people on their Forums, in Blogland and Twitter. Some are already success stories and others are well on their way. This program works.


As for me - my regular readers will know that there's been some *stuff* going on in my life. I am depressed and at something of a *crossroads* regarding a few areas of my life.


I will continue to try and lose this extra weight I find myself carrying. I have the tools and I have the determination.


Some of you may say "You're giving up" or "Why leave a structured program now when you need it the most"...and again I say : I have my reasons and everything happens for a reason....so stay tuned. Keep watching that little ticker up the top.


Right now, my immediate concern is to get this foot of mine sorted out. Just as I'm enjoying my "runs", I suspect I'll have to put the running on the backburner until this gets looked at. But I won't be standing still...gotta keep on moving :)



Bye for now.

xo

...about my foot

Don't ask me why I've decided to blog about my sore foot...I don't think I'm a hypochondriac...but I could be wrong. (I'm a bit like a bloke when it comes with coping with the common cold, remember?)

Anyways, my right foot has been giving me no end of trouble. It feels as though the squishy chubby bit of my foot that we step on (sorry all you experts - is that the ball of the foot) has lost all its padding, and it hurts.

It's a funny sort of hurt, in that if I feel all over my foot, I can't pin-point a sore spot. Very frustrating. It sometimes hurts while I'm exercising, it mostly hurts while I'm walking, and in all shoes...flatties, heels, even my beloved Asics.

Lately I've been getting a shooting pain in my middle toe, around the nail, but I always keep my nails in good shape, so I've ruled out an in-grown...


Proud to say it hasn't stopped me from working out, but I am finding it a bit tiring and tedious to have to live with this pain.


About 20 years ago (when I was extremely young) ;), I broke a few bones in that foot, and I'm wondering if this is just wear and tear caused by the fractures...



As soon as time and money allows, I am going to find a specialist to have a look at it...not sure whether to go to a sports physiologist or my osteo (I know one of each and they are great at what they do)...I don't think I can soldier on much longer with this constant pain, and I worry that I'm doing more harm to my foot than good by continuing without doing anything about it.



Bye for now xo

Blogger Challenge Week 1 - Introduce Yourself

Tell us a little bit about yourself. What makes you, you?

I'll try to keep this short because I like to talk, and write...there you go, there's a bit about myself already :)...hmmmm. I am Michael's (aka Hubby) wife and Madeleine (Maddie) and Cassandra's (Cassie) mum. My girls are 16 and 13 ... which is an interesting time in all our lives. Hubby and I sometimes think about divorcing our teenagers, but sometimes they just make me go all warm and fuzzy and my heart sings with joy...remind me I said that next time I whinge about them. I also share in the care of my mum. She spends three weeks at our place and three weeks at my brother's. Now before you start to tell me what a wonderful daughter/human being I am for doing this,be warned : I don't always do it gracefully...you will find many bitchy posts if you look back through my Blog. I am human. Hubby and I run our own business from home, so it means we spend just about all our time together. We both love it. We are best mates and also a really good team, both professionally and in our everyday life, but it doesn't mean we don't have our tiffs like everyone else, like I said I am human.
What makes me "Me"? - I have the loudest laugh you've ever heard...I love my pets so much (we've always had a bit of a menagerie), I would kill for my kids, I love flowers in my garden and in my house, I love beautiful things, I'm not crafty but I wish I was (I've started countless quilts but haven't finished any) I believe in the power of positive thinking, I give thanks for the life I was given and strive to be the best version of "Me" every day.


Why did you decide to do the 12WBT?

You could say I let myself go over the last 18 months...

Hubby gave up his 9-5 in July 2010 to come and work in our business. At that time I weighed in at around 67kg, with my goal weight being 60-62kg...our new working lifestyle gave way to daily coffees, Hubby does not have a weight problem. He's a runner and can basically eat whatever he wants...I joined in his daily banana bread, stopped going to the gym regularly and as a result, found myself weighing in at 77.9kg on New Year's Day 2012.

What are you hoping to achieve through the program?

My main focus is on weight loss and improved health. My mum has Type 2 Diabetes and a myriad other conditions, all brought about by a not-so-healthy lifestyle. I want to increase my level of fitness so I can enjoy my life to the fullest.

Why have you decided to blog about the 12WBT? What will be the main focus (eg, food, exercise, a bit of everything?)

My Blog has always included all aspects of my life. It is only natural to want to document and share my 12WBT journey on my Blog as well.

How will you be exercising this round? Gym, home, outdoors or a mixture?

I love group fitness classes at my gym (esp RPM), so I've scheduled those in. I have recently started C25K with my #runningbuddy, and I love getting out for long walks around my neighbourhood, so it's a real mixture...just keep moving will be my mantra.

What is your greatest strength that will help you?

This is a very hard one...I think I'm resilient, fall down seven times and get up eight...no matter how hard things get I always manage to come back up and give it another go...not sure I've answered this one ??

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of bad health in old age...every time I look at my mum I see what a lifetime of smoking, not eating mindfully and uncontrolled stress can do to our bodies, and ruin not only our life but that of those around us.

What are you looking forward to the most over the next 12 weeks?

The fact that everything is there for me. I don't have to think about what to eat or how to workout. Mish has done it all and the evidence out there is that this works. I look forward to JFDI!

What is your downfall? Food? Exercise? How will you overcome this?

My downfall is in planning. If I don't plan ahead I am likely to miss workouts or eat something not on plan, so I started planning four weeks ago when Pre-Season kicked off!

If you had to pick one word to motivate you over the next 12 weeks, what would you choose?

It's four words, to quote Michelle Bridges : "Just F***ing Do It"!

Still here...

A quick post today (I say that a lot, don't I...?) to say Hi and I'm still around and doing OK...

12WBT kicked off last Monday (officially) and so far this week I have followed the menu plan fairly closely but haven't yet managed a workout all week.

...I'm coming down with something.

*** I sleep a very deep sleep night after night
*** My neck is feeling *heavy* and sore
*** I've had an almost constant headache all week
*** My throat is very sore and feels inflamed on the left side

So I'm feeling quite fatigued a couple of hours after getting up even though I seem to be sleeping more soundly than usual. I'm aware that I've been very cranky and irritable (put it down to frustration).

I've been taking all my usual vitamins and having my morning veggie juice as well as some "Immunity" supplements to try and ward off whatever is heading my way.


I hope I've nipped it in the bud and it will just dissipate over the next few days without turning into a full-blown nasty flu...



....Oh, and have I told you I'm a bit like a man when it comes to being sick...? that and shopping...otherwise, I'm very girly ;-)



Looking forward to a couple of Blog hops/ Blogging Challenges that some girls doing 12WBT are organising. I believe we kick off tomorrow...it will keep me regular when it comes to my Blog.





Hope you're all well....and by the way, Am I the only girl who'll admit to being a bad patient...???

12WBT Kick off!

After the last couple of weeks, I was considering pulling out of the 12WBT...came up with a lot of excuses, but luckily I saw them for what they were : excuses, and decided to "JFDI"

I have completed my pre-season Tasks as they've come up, but haven't had the inclination to share them here. However I have decided that for the next 12 weeks I am going to document my experience with Michelle Bridges' 12WBT as well as including my results as far as weight loss and fitness etc.


Yesterday I completed my *Fitness Test*...I purposely "overlooked" this Task last round, and seeing the other members sharing their improvements on the Forum, I regret it. That, and the fact that my #running buddy is documenting and organising her 12WBT with *military precision*, has prompted me to fully join in and post my results...


Ab test - Level 3 (sit ups)

Wall Sit - 36 seconds (man, that hurt!)

Sit and Reach - +8cm

.... we also had to do a 1km run and time it. Hubby, Cassie and I drove a little up the mountains to find a "flatish" road, as all the ovals around here were soggy, and our suburb is quite hilly. We found a perfect place, a road that runs alongside a popular lake. Hubby dropped me off, then dropped Cassie off at the half-way mark to cheer me on, and positioned himself with the stopwatch at the 1km mark.

I couldn't believe how long 1km was! I've been doing C25K with Leonie, but we're only up to Week 3, so nowhere near running 1km non-stop.


Anyway, off I went, a little faster than my usual shuffle, as I didn't want to be running all afternoon just for the sake of this test ;-)

By the time I got to Cassie, I was thinking I might just walk the rest of the way, my lungs felt like they were exploding, my throat was sore and man, was I out of breath...I heard Cassie say "Keep going Mummy! You can do it! You've already been running for five minutes!"...my thoughts were "Geez! Five minutes! How much longer do I have to run???", So I just kept on going and then started to think of things other than running, like how beautiful these trees would look in a few weeks when Autumn hits, that sort of thing...

Next thing you know I see Hubby walking ahead of me and when he heard me, he had to speed up, as he had to be at the *finish* line before I got there :-D


Then I saw the marker, and I just kept running until I got there...I have never been so out of breath in my life. Hubby and Cassie were cheering me on and kept asking "Do you want to see your time??", so I had a look at the stopwatch : 6 mins 29secs!!! Cassie had used reverse psychology on me! She thought if she told me I'd been running for a very long time, I'd want to hurry up to get it over and done with, and she was sort of right!


I don't know how this time *rates*, and I'm not here to compare myself with others...the one thing that I am so proud of is that I have NEVER run 1km without stopping in my life...



The endorphins kicked in soon after and I think I'm still riding that high 24 hours later...

Yesterday was dark, as the day went on, my mood got darker...

I felt panic at the bottom of my stomach, churning away...so I ate some toast, spread with honey...and a warm cup of tea, to "make it better"

This panic had been with me, on and off since Sunday...I've been waking up startled, as if I've slept through the alarm and I'll be late for something...so I have to tell myself to breathe in and out, get some sort of a rhythm going before I open my eyes and find myself in this bedroom that still feels so foreign to me. But it won't be for long, because this house is about to go on the market, and we are all so excited to be leaving this place, for once, all four of us agreed on something none of us is happy with.

This morning I was up at 5am as usual on a Tuesday to attend my business meeting, when I got back hubby and I went for coffee, but before we got there I managed to break down and announce that I intended to see a doctor and get myself some anti-depressants because I just can't go on this way...


Hubby agreed, said anything that will get me through is for the best. You see, I get so "fuzzy" in the head, and i can't afford to be, my work requires me to be on the ball at all times. I break down into tears at the drop of a hat...and I don't like to be like this.


...I know that our troubles will pass, but until then, how can I hold it together...?

We're OK...just hanging in there...not much to say, other than we are seeing a lot of possibilities in our situation. People that we trusted and who promised to help have left us, we feel "judged".

But overnight it's made us stronger, to know that we stand together, the two of us. Right now we are in survival mode, but this morning, we saw possibilities which were under our noses all this time.

We hold our heads high.

Together we are strong. We have all we need. Each other and our girls.



I wish you peace and love. It's all that matters.

...this has become my mantra...although it feels more like I've fallen down 3,478 times, instead of seven...


One day, I will tell you what's been going on in my life...right now, I'm too frail. It's too raw and unfair, and I can't string the words together.



Your prayers / positive thoughts / good vibes are very much needed by myself and my family. Please send them my way.




Back soon.


xo