All I can say is
GLAD IT'S OVER!!!
If you were expecting a reflective type of post looking back on my successes for the past year, you're no doubt disappointed.
I know it's all about attitude, but at the end of the day (or should I say year), this is exactly how I feel...glad it's over. Time to move on. No looking back.
That is all.
See you in 2012.
FABULOUS SANDRA! ... The ramblings of a 40 - something wife and mum on a journey to be the best version of me.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
What would she want for Christmas...?
The lead-up to Christmas 2005 -
I was heading down to do my Christmas shopping - in one hit, as I do - I seem to remember it was the last week of school, so I took advantage of no kiddies with me and set off after school drop-off.
Five minutes down the road the thought hit me, a question appeared out of nowhere : "What do you get an eighteen month old? What would she want for Christmas? What did I get her sisters at this age?"...the tears flowed until I could no longer see to drive safely and I found a spot to stop on the side of the road. Then I just sobbed, out loud, in the loneliness and safety of my car, with the radio on, in full view of passing traffic, out of control.
The grief hadn't passed...the grieving never stops. Sure, you can pull on a brave face, and make sure the children that you do have don't notice how sad you are...because you are so happy and full of joy to have THEM, but at the same time you are so sad that you never got to make a beautiful Christmas for the little girl who left you before she was born...
...and every year it returns, this wondering, this emptyness...she'd be eight and a half this Christmas...I don't just think of her at Christmas, but I no longer think of her every day...I was told the wound would heal, and the scar would fade, and while that is true, I know I will never forget her, and never stop wishing she was with me,instead of watching over me...I wish I'd got to watch over her.
Every year our family gets together...I only see one of my brothers once a year (at Christmas)...his youngest (a beautiful boy with golden curls) was born three months after Maryanne...they were to have been playmates, his mum and I were pregnant sort of at the same time...I made fun of her when my morning sickness eased, because she still had three months of what I'd just been through...
Every year I try to keep it together on that one day, with that little boy full of energy and life...he's very tall for his age, but so are my girls, so it gives me a good gauge of how tall Maryanne would be every year...last year, for the first time, I caught Hubby looking at him with a funny look in his eyes...later he told me he was wondering the same thing..."Is that how tall my girl would be right now?"
*****Merry Christmas, my angel, Mummy loves you and misses you...*****
I was heading down to do my Christmas shopping - in one hit, as I do - I seem to remember it was the last week of school, so I took advantage of no kiddies with me and set off after school drop-off.
Five minutes down the road the thought hit me, a question appeared out of nowhere : "What do you get an eighteen month old? What would she want for Christmas? What did I get her sisters at this age?"...the tears flowed until I could no longer see to drive safely and I found a spot to stop on the side of the road. Then I just sobbed, out loud, in the loneliness and safety of my car, with the radio on, in full view of passing traffic, out of control.
The grief hadn't passed...the grieving never stops. Sure, you can pull on a brave face, and make sure the children that you do have don't notice how sad you are...because you are so happy and full of joy to have THEM, but at the same time you are so sad that you never got to make a beautiful Christmas for the little girl who left you before she was born...
...and every year it returns, this wondering, this emptyness...she'd be eight and a half this Christmas...I don't just think of her at Christmas, but I no longer think of her every day...I was told the wound would heal, and the scar would fade, and while that is true, I know I will never forget her, and never stop wishing she was with me,instead of watching over me...I wish I'd got to watch over her.
Every year our family gets together...I only see one of my brothers once a year (at Christmas)...his youngest (a beautiful boy with golden curls) was born three months after Maryanne...they were to have been playmates, his mum and I were pregnant sort of at the same time...I made fun of her when my morning sickness eased, because she still had three months of what I'd just been through...
Every year I try to keep it together on that one day, with that little boy full of energy and life...he's very tall for his age, but so are my girls, so it gives me a good gauge of how tall Maryanne would be every year...last year, for the first time, I caught Hubby looking at him with a funny look in his eyes...later he told me he was wondering the same thing..."Is that how tall my girl would be right now?"
*****Merry Christmas, my angel, Mummy loves you and misses you...*****
Monday, December 12, 2011
A little celebration
Last Friday my eldest girl, Maddie got her School Certificate. This is the last year that NSW students have to sit this particular exam, and as she is going on to Yr11 for her HSC, this particular exam didn't have me too worried...
However, she did really well! 90+ for English, 85+ for Maths, Science and Computer Technology and an achievement award for Science...all the other subjects were marked as "completed"...not sure how it all works, but it appears to be a good result.
So, as her little sister had a movie night at school that evening, hubby and I took Maddie out to dinner - we told her we were going to Bunnings to pick up some stuff for the kitchen, but surprised her by taking her to a new Mexican place she's been talking about. Mexican food is her favourite, and we were lucky that it hadn't rained that afternoon so were able to sit outside.
Michael and Maddie had chicken tostadillas, and I went with the naked burrito...the flavours were amazing, fresh ingredients make such a difference in Mexican food...YUM!
Yes, Michael loves to pull funny faces when posing with his girls...
So glad we got to have some special time with our gorgeous girl.
Very proud of you, Chookie. Bring on that HSC!
However, she did really well! 90+ for English, 85+ for Maths, Science and Computer Technology and an achievement award for Science...all the other subjects were marked as "completed"...not sure how it all works, but it appears to be a good result.
So, as her little sister had a movie night at school that evening, hubby and I took Maddie out to dinner - we told her we were going to Bunnings to pick up some stuff for the kitchen, but surprised her by taking her to a new Mexican place she's been talking about. Mexican food is her favourite, and we were lucky that it hadn't rained that afternoon so were able to sit outside.
Michael and Maddie had chicken tostadillas, and I went with the naked burrito...the flavours were amazing, fresh ingredients make such a difference in Mexican food...YUM!
Yes, Michael loves to pull funny faces when posing with his girls...
So glad we got to have some special time with our gorgeous girl.
Very proud of you, Chookie. Bring on that HSC!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
A new plan
To say that life has been crazy in my world is an understatement...
I have not had a kitchen for about four weeks...our bathroom only has a toilet and a shower recess in there, and our tiny laundry is currently housing a small shelf which holds microwave, toaster, kettle etc. Thank goodness for our walk-in pantry, because I was able to store enough crockery and glasses etc for four, as well as the fruit bowl and other basics.
To top it all off, our business is extremely busy, and those of you that "know" my hubby won't be surprised to hear that he has insisted on doing all this work himself...which is exactly why it's taking sooo long!!!
Back in September, I joined up for Michelle Bridges' 12WBT, I did not give it 100% - heck, I would say more like 25% truth be told...but I really did get a lot out of it. For one, I found an amazing group of women in the Forums, and we have become a really close-knit group who will continue to support each other beyond any weight-loss or fitness journey.
So I'm not sure exactly how much I weigh right this minute, but I know I haven't been this heavy for quite a while...
As we speak, my oven and cooktop is being installed (Photos of the completed kitchen next week, promise) so I have no excuse for not eating well. End of December/early January is traditionally a quiet time in our industry, and the girls don't need organising in the mornings, so it will be the perfect time to get into a routine in regards to my workouts.
So what I'm hearing here is NO EXCUSES - no reason why I can't put my health and fitness first and remain that way...
I have already signed up for Round 1 2012 of the 12WBT because I don't do things by halves and I want to give it my very best shot! I cannot speak highly enough of Mish Bridges and her team, and like I said, the inspiration just flows around the Forums.
So that is my plan - I would like to lose about 5kg between now and pre-season, which kicks off 16 January 2012. I think I can...I think I can...
Stay tuned.
xo
PS - Tried to link 12WBT but for some reason it isn't linking...just got to www.12wbt.com
I have not had a kitchen for about four weeks...our bathroom only has a toilet and a shower recess in there, and our tiny laundry is currently housing a small shelf which holds microwave, toaster, kettle etc. Thank goodness for our walk-in pantry, because I was able to store enough crockery and glasses etc for four, as well as the fruit bowl and other basics.
To top it all off, our business is extremely busy, and those of you that "know" my hubby won't be surprised to hear that he has insisted on doing all this work himself...which is exactly why it's taking sooo long!!!
Back in September, I joined up for Michelle Bridges' 12WBT, I did not give it 100% - heck, I would say more like 25% truth be told...but I really did get a lot out of it. For one, I found an amazing group of women in the Forums, and we have become a really close-knit group who will continue to support each other beyond any weight-loss or fitness journey.
So I'm not sure exactly how much I weigh right this minute, but I know I haven't been this heavy for quite a while...
As we speak, my oven and cooktop is being installed (Photos of the completed kitchen next week, promise) so I have no excuse for not eating well. End of December/early January is traditionally a quiet time in our industry, and the girls don't need organising in the mornings, so it will be the perfect time to get into a routine in regards to my workouts.
So what I'm hearing here is NO EXCUSES - no reason why I can't put my health and fitness first and remain that way...
I have already signed up for Round 1 2012 of the 12WBT because I don't do things by halves and I want to give it my very best shot! I cannot speak highly enough of Mish Bridges and her team, and like I said, the inspiration just flows around the Forums.
So that is my plan - I would like to lose about 5kg between now and pre-season, which kicks off 16 January 2012. I think I can...I think I can...
Stay tuned.
xo
PS - Tried to link 12WBT but for some reason it isn't linking...just got to www.12wbt.com
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Grateful for time to plan
Every morning Hubby and I take ourselves and our notebook to our favourite coffee shop - the staff know us by name and our regular order of a mocha and a skinny latte are at our table within a couple of minutes... today we got to sample one of their fruit mince pies - fresh out of the oven - on the house, which was lovely, and the pie was absolutely divine...as you can see someone also had a croissant...aaaahh my will-power muscle is taking a beating!
So I am grateful for the time to plan our day work-wise and a lovely place to do it in...I look forward to this quiet time every morning.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
It looks like I'm ba-aack!
Hey!
Two posts in as many days...what's going on???
Maybe I just realised that this is the way life is going to be for a while, and if I wait until life gets a little less busy, or until we finish the reno's or until the new year...(you get the picture) I will probably never post again...
Rainy and miserable old day up here...it started off beautifully - clear blue skies, warm sunny morning. Hubby and I went for an early coffee and I decided I felt like doing RPM, so we got back home, checked that the girls were OK - they were both still sleeping (aah, I remember those teenage years) and got changed to go. We got there with about ten minutes to spare, which was great, because I got to make sure that my bike was "just right" and warmed up at a leisurely pace while everyone else got set up.
I really pushed myself hard today - so hard that by Track 3 I almost thought I'd have to run to the ladies' to have a little "vommy" - but the way to the ladies' was too complicated so I just directed my thoughts elsewhere...the stains on the carpet in front of me were a good distraction...and pushed on.
The middle of the day was spent shopping for reno stuff - some kitchen cabinets and plumbing paraphernalia, and more tidying up. Then I went to the 4.30pm Pump class...doing two classes in one day is a first for me, but I'm just seizing every opportunity I get to work out because there are some very busy days coming up in the next few weeks...
It is now 10 degrees here - and it's the fourth day of Summer!
Being so busy with work and having so much "stuff" going on in my life - such as the deadline we've given ourselves to get this house on the market in feb 2012, means that I've adopted a mindset of "going on auto-pilot" when it comes to my fitness and nutrition, so Group Fitness classes are great for me at the moment. Just turn up at the gym and do what you're told. Done for the day. Easy. (in theory, anyway)
To finish off, here is my Grateful photo for today - the first kitchen cabinet is going up...after four weeks of no stove, this is a huge step and one I am so grateful for.
Two posts in as many days...what's going on???
Maybe I just realised that this is the way life is going to be for a while, and if I wait until life gets a little less busy, or until we finish the reno's or until the new year...(you get the picture) I will probably never post again...
Rainy and miserable old day up here...it started off beautifully - clear blue skies, warm sunny morning. Hubby and I went for an early coffee and I decided I felt like doing RPM, so we got back home, checked that the girls were OK - they were both still sleeping (aah, I remember those teenage years) and got changed to go. We got there with about ten minutes to spare, which was great, because I got to make sure that my bike was "just right" and warmed up at a leisurely pace while everyone else got set up.
I really pushed myself hard today - so hard that by Track 3 I almost thought I'd have to run to the ladies' to have a little "vommy" - but the way to the ladies' was too complicated so I just directed my thoughts elsewhere...the stains on the carpet in front of me were a good distraction...and pushed on.
The middle of the day was spent shopping for reno stuff - some kitchen cabinets and plumbing paraphernalia, and more tidying up. Then I went to the 4.30pm Pump class...doing two classes in one day is a first for me, but I'm just seizing every opportunity I get to work out because there are some very busy days coming up in the next few weeks...
It is now 10 degrees here - and it's the fourth day of Summer!
Being so busy with work and having so much "stuff" going on in my life - such as the deadline we've given ourselves to get this house on the market in feb 2012, means that I've adopted a mindset of "going on auto-pilot" when it comes to my fitness and nutrition, so Group Fitness classes are great for me at the moment. Just turn up at the gym and do what you're told. Done for the day. Easy. (in theory, anyway)
To finish off, here is my Grateful photo for today - the first kitchen cabinet is going up...after four weeks of no stove, this is a huge step and one I am so grateful for.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Finding a little calm before the "storm"...
This year Christmas will be very low-key for us...
We moved out of our home of eighteen years in October and have decided to finish off the renovations to this place and sell it early next year...
Which means I am actually sitting in the middle of a gutted kitchen as I type this. The only piece of furniture in this room being my desk and the fridge...
The bathroom is half-finished. We have a toilet in there and a shower, getting the vanity tomorrow and a bath some time next week...we have to find one small enough to look good without crowding the tiny space that is our bathroom.
This house is SO small...
Just one of those things, we've had this house for about six years and never realised it just doesn't suit us.
Back to my point - this year we are keeping Christmas low-key...
The tree will go up tomorrow - I have to shift some furniture into the shed so it will fit LOL, and once the kitchen is installed next week I will put out some more decorations on shelves etc...
For Christmas Eve, we will go to my brother's as always. It is my sister in law's birthday and we spend this evening with them every year. Christmas lunch will be a quiet affair, just the four of us and my parents in law, in the afternoon they will go to my brother in law's place and we will get busy packing for our week away. We are going to Port Stephens - again a bit of a tradition for us - for a much needed rest.
So by no means a hectic time for us - but with the reno's etc (we have set ourselves a deadline), things are getting a bit hectic around here...
So this week I have decided to do a little much needed (and overdue!) pampering...last week I decided I wanted some acrylic nails again. I have been growing my own for the past nine or so months, but with the reno's they were starting to break and look shabby...so now I'm very pleased with my French tips, they look very polished (excuse the pun) and need less maintenance than my own nails.
I booked myself in for a facial on Monday...haven't had one since July (!) and my skin is feeling a bit dry...and I love the time I spend chatting to my beautician Robyn while she performs her magic on my face - I love how invigorated my skin looks and feels after one of her massages.
Then, on Tuesday .... I've booked into the hairdresser's for a bit of a make-over...I've been going to the same lady for a couple of years but I am less and less happy with the outcome. She works from home and I suspect her products aren't the best quality...no matter what shade of foils we try, within a couple of weeks I'm looking "brassy"...and even the style we've been doing for ages is not holding shape so well...I've noticed she talks a lot while she's working - which could be a bad thing when it comes to cutting..?
So I've booked into a local salon that I've been to before with a new hairdresser there (he's a boy!!!!) and I'm going to try something a little different...not drastic, but just something to freshen up my look...
So there it is - time for a bit of self-indulgence...and I can face the next few weeks feeling a bit fabulous...
What about you? Do you take time out for yourself before the Holidays or after the whole silly season is over?
We moved out of our home of eighteen years in October and have decided to finish off the renovations to this place and sell it early next year...
Which means I am actually sitting in the middle of a gutted kitchen as I type this. The only piece of furniture in this room being my desk and the fridge...
The bathroom is half-finished. We have a toilet in there and a shower, getting the vanity tomorrow and a bath some time next week...we have to find one small enough to look good without crowding the tiny space that is our bathroom.
This house is SO small...
Just one of those things, we've had this house for about six years and never realised it just doesn't suit us.
Back to my point - this year we are keeping Christmas low-key...
The tree will go up tomorrow - I have to shift some furniture into the shed so it will fit LOL, and once the kitchen is installed next week I will put out some more decorations on shelves etc...
For Christmas Eve, we will go to my brother's as always. It is my sister in law's birthday and we spend this evening with them every year. Christmas lunch will be a quiet affair, just the four of us and my parents in law, in the afternoon they will go to my brother in law's place and we will get busy packing for our week away. We are going to Port Stephens - again a bit of a tradition for us - for a much needed rest.
So by no means a hectic time for us - but with the reno's etc (we have set ourselves a deadline), things are getting a bit hectic around here...
So this week I have decided to do a little much needed (and overdue!) pampering...last week I decided I wanted some acrylic nails again. I have been growing my own for the past nine or so months, but with the reno's they were starting to break and look shabby...so now I'm very pleased with my French tips, they look very polished (excuse the pun) and need less maintenance than my own nails.
I booked myself in for a facial on Monday...haven't had one since July (!) and my skin is feeling a bit dry...and I love the time I spend chatting to my beautician Robyn while she performs her magic on my face - I love how invigorated my skin looks and feels after one of her massages.
Then, on Tuesday .... I've booked into the hairdresser's for a bit of a make-over...I've been going to the same lady for a couple of years but I am less and less happy with the outcome. She works from home and I suspect her products aren't the best quality...no matter what shade of foils we try, within a couple of weeks I'm looking "brassy"...and even the style we've been doing for ages is not holding shape so well...I've noticed she talks a lot while she's working - which could be a bad thing when it comes to cutting..?
So I've booked into a local salon that I've been to before with a new hairdresser there (he's a boy!!!!) and I'm going to try something a little different...not drastic, but just something to freshen up my look...
So there it is - time for a bit of self-indulgence...and I can face the next few weeks feeling a bit fabulous...
What about you? Do you take time out for yourself before the Holidays or after the whole silly season is over?
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