Room for Improvement - Relationships (Part 2)

So now I've got some strategies in place to nurture my friendships in 2012...time to move on to family -

Let's start with Hubby :

Whilst I haven't gone into specifics about the dreadful times we went through in the last half of 2011, let me tell you that our relationship has taken somewhat of a "backseat" in our list of priorities...
Fast-track to the present, and we are on auto-pilot to put this house on the market by February...(I know, you're probably asking what the hell I'm doing Blogging...?) We've "split" ourselves into jobs, pretty basic really, but Hubby is doing all the physical work around the house, and my job is to keep the household going, whilst also running 99% of the business.
Just before the end of the year, something insignificant (in hindsight it was probably fuelled by PMT) threw me into a bit of a tantrum and I lashed out at Hubby and said some very nasty things ... the tears flowed and turned into uncontrollable sobbing and it generally wasn't *pretty*. Hubby himself said a few things in anger and for a split second I thought "this is it - our marriage is over"... however without knowing it, that was our way of letting out a lot of pent-up emotion we were both carrying, and to my surprise, Hubby actually *heard* some of the stuff I said (or yelled at him) and the next day we were able to talk more calmly about how much our circumstances have impacted on our relationship...
We had a couple of relaxing days during which neither of us did much *work* and it was lovely to have my hubby back...then we heard about the death of the amazing Kristian Anderson . Hubby announced that he will be getting some health checks done in the next couple of months, his whole attitude seems to have changed a little...he is very aware of the fact that the girls are teenagers and don't really want to hang out with their parents all that much etc etc, but when I was leaving with Maddie later that day to drop her off to a friend's, he came up and gave her a hug and said, "Chookie,we should never leave the house angry with each other or without saying good-bye"...which was lovely because usually he tries to stay out of their way (he leaves the lovey-dovey stuff to me)
So I think my marriage is on its way to huge improvements this year...only today Hubby surprised me by "asking" me out to dinner at our favourite Italian restaurant...now this is HUGE for him, all the organising in the family is left up to me, so much so that I even have to arrange nights out for us - but it looks like we've turned a corner here.



The other relationships that need Improvement are with my mum and Michael's parents...
They are all in their late seventies, and they are showing signs of ageing...I don't want to have regrets when they're gone...so let's just say I've been giving this a lot of thought and have decided a while back to choose my battles, or better still to choose *not* to battle...Sure they are infuriating at times, and a lot of what they say is annoying...but surely I can let it go and then let out my frustrations at the RPM class the next day ... much better for everyone's health...
Last night we dropped our girls off to Hubby's parents for a couple of days. That will give them some quality time, as well as giving us some time to catch up on work without a) having to taxi them around several times a day and b) worrying that they're not having a good holiday...


So I will make a concerted effort from now on to nurture my marriage by taking regular time to talk about things rather than letting it all build up until it all explodes like a volcano, regular *dates* are also on the plan...I think I'll just wait and see whether Hubby takes the hint and keeps up the momentum with this one.


Aaah 2012 - my wish for this year is to end it in better shape physically and emotionally than I started it.

Room for Improvement - Relationships (Part 1)

Following on from my goals and desires for 2012. I am putting down strategies to improve certain (OK - most) areas of my life which have suffered recently or been sorely neglected, which brings me to

Relationships

Now, a couple of years ago, I made the conscious decision to rid my life of all "toxic" relationships,and basically stop hanging out or listening to people who brought me down...I believe I achieved that, but during 2011, I found myself withdrawing from society a little too much...an old friend once told me she only had a select number of friends because they were like flowers to her : they needed constant care and attention, and if her "garden" got too crowded, some flowers didn't get the attention they deserved... I know, I know, she has a way with words :)


So the goal for 2012 is to re-ignite some old friendships and develop some new friendships that are emerging.

I also hope to catch-up with some of my Bloggy Besties, the first one being the fabulous Magda who lives in Adelaide. I'll be visiting Adelaide for a short conference at the end of May, and there is no way I would pass up the opportunity to have (a very long) coffee with this kindred spirit. Another blogger on my list is Liz, RPM instructor extrodinaire, I suspect when I do finally make the trip up North it will be an interesting catch-up, as she is renowned for her punishing RPM classes...

I am thrilled to say it looks like I've found a local who may just become a Training Buddy. Leonie is a fellow 12WBT member up here in the Blue Mountains and she is proving to be a powerhouse when it comes to motivating and organising group sessions. She has organised a get-to-know-you lunch on 21st January and I'm really looking forward to it.

But friends don't all need to be about Fitness...I have set a lunch date today with a friend whom I haven't properly caught up with in ages. We texted Happy New Year messages to each other and the conversation turned to catching up. We are both extremely busy, so we thought if we didn't put the date in our calendar today, it might just not happen. So we are catching up for a girly lunch in March (my favourite month)

There is also a lovely couple that we used to go out with as part of a group. When that group drifted apart, no one saw anyone else, but we ran into Marie at our regular coffee shop (she goes there daily too) and hubby and I decided we will contact her and her hubby to catch up somewhere nice for dinner one day soon.

Lastly there is the lady I may or may not have mentioned (her husband owns the coffee shop I mentioned above). We met at a Christmas party, and I mentioned that I want to start running...to cut a long story short, she has been running for about six years and offered to take me out a few times so I can get the hang of it...she and her husband are gorgeous and we all get along really well...


So that's my friendship plans...I think just to be more "present" for my friends, and not withdraw into my shell so much (typical Cancerian)...real friends will stand by you during good and bad times, if you let them. This I am learning.



I am excited about the prospects 2012 brings in this part of my life...this crab has been hiding too long - time to join the world again!