I have in the past written a couple of very long posts about my weight loss dilemmas and won't link back to them now, most of my
2002 - I found myself a little overweight (10kg) and joined Weight Watchers to drop back into my comfortable Size 10, which is where I feel attractive and confident. I'm sorry if it sounds shallow, then again I'm not - time to act like the big girl that I am and stop apologising for being me (wise words from Hubby on the weekend...another story for another post).
*** I achieve my Goal Weight in 3-4 months. I am full of energy and on top of the world. Then I fall pregnant with our third child. Over the moon as we always wanted a third baby, the last thing on my mind is weight gain, it will come off after the baby is born...
2008 - five years after giving birth to my still-born baby girl, I realise I've well and truly let things slide and I'd like to get not only thinner (I'm now about 12kg over my "size 10 number") but I want to re-shape my body and increase my fitness and strength. I connect with IBO online and follow Sue's programs for about a year. The gorgeous Hilary and Kristin are my "coaches/mentors" and I love the weight training and nutrition programs.
*** The lowest weight I get to is around 63kg, but looking back at the photos I look toned and slim, I can fit into anything size S, so I'm sitting anywhere between a Size 8-10. Happy days.
2009 - I hurt my lower back walking/running on an incline on the treadmill...I am immobilized for weeks and then I decide that seeing as I am not training or lifting heavy weights, I am going to try something I've been reading about - Intuitive Eating
B.A.D. M.O.V.E.
For someone like *ME*, this does not work...You see, if you asked me to "intuitively" choose between a bunch of grapes and a slice of cheesecake...it's a no-brainer. The cheesecake wins every time. And it did. Yes, I *know* that the grapes are better for me...but hey, I've given myself a *choice*, so I go for the taste experience and eat the crap...
Six months of fooling myself that I didn't need to keep track of what I ate, or weigh myself, or even take measurements...because I work from home, I swapped jeans for elastic waisted trackie pants "because they are warmer"...
My "Intuition" told me I would hurt my husband's feelings if I didn't have a
WHAT C.R.A.P.
Three years later I am overweight and unhappy...most of my clothes don't fit me, but my stubborn streak won't let me buy bigger sizes. NO WAY.
And please, before you start analysing me...I wasn't abused as a child. I wasn't bullied or victimized. My husband has never cheated on me, and in spite of me pointing out my physical faults to him daily, our sex life hasn't suffered...I have two normal teenage daughters who drive me crazy but there are no hidden agendas there...yes, I have big issues with having to look after an invalid parent, but honestly - I doubt that it can be used as an "explanation" for my STUPID behaviour with food...
WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY...?
OK, I had a legitimate injury...I needed to take time off heavy lifting and running/walking was not possible.
I *should* have made sure at this time OF ALL TIMES, that my diet was 100% on track. If I had paid extra attention to my diet while I was immobile, then by the time I was able to work out again, the "damage" done would have been minimal...a couple of kg's gain if that, and get right back into it.
By doing what I did, I never got my mojo back....it all just slid downhill and the more weight I gained, the worse I felt about myself and just kept on eating crap...vicious cycle...?
So in saying all of that, I have come to realise that *I* need some sort of structure. I am a "lists" girl. My work day flows ever so much more smoothly when I have my "to do list" with me and I can see what I've accomplished.
I gained 10kg over the last three years because I ate whatever I felt like on a regular basis, sure I still ate the good stuff, like fruit and veg and lean protein, but I also allowed myself to eat rubbish on a more than regular basis, and that my friends is where the buck stops.
This is where I need to get strict with my food again...I wholeheartedly agree with those who subscribe to the 80/20 principal....diet is the most important factor in the weightloss equation.
So here is where I start - Diet/nutrition.
My weight NEEDS to come off. I don't want to travel down the path of Type 2 Diabetes (and I have the family history of it) or even worse a heart attack (I have the family history there too). So the first step I am taking is to clean up my diet, and by that I mean cut out the crap. Simple. I know many of you hate the term "Clean Eating", but I am taking it literally here.
Clean = Remove Rubbish
That's all for now.
It's been a while...a friend's recent post hit home and inspired me to write again.
Thanks for reading.
