Testing 1,2,3...

To blog or not to blog (again) that is the question...

If you see this please add a comment...pretty please?

xoxox

I'm Still Here

It feels "right" to come back and blog again...I realise I'll probably be talking to myself but my blog has never had a huge following, it's more about the therapeutic benefit for me.

...where to start? ...do I need to recap everything that's happened in the past eight months?...not all at once, I think things will emerge in their own time.

For now I will just state the "obvious" and that is that my beautiful mum did indeed lose her battle with cancer...there was no surgery, no chemo, the cancer was too widely spread and she made the decision to not undergo treatment...all she wanted was to be pain free (that proved to be a challenge) and comfortable (I will never really know whether she was) and with her family, not in hospital. So she spent the last five months of her life in my home, with my little family around her and anyone else who wished to visit. My home has never been so full and hasn't been since...

They were the best of times and the worst of times (is that a quote?...I have a vague idea it's from A Tale of Two Cities)

And so life goes on...and I still miss her - I miss her so much the grief is a physical pain...like nothing I've ever experienced. And I know she's still with me and won't ever leave me but there are days when I just want to hold her, to care for her and do the everyday things I used to do, and those are the hardest days, because the truth of the matter is damn hard, and it's like my brain cannot process the fact that she won't be physically here ever again...

There are times when my heart overflows with gratitude and joy at the good times we had during her last few months...the times when she made us laugh out loud, and although I know that those are the times I should hold on to, the bad times come rushing at me all too often, the constant pain, the mind-numbing medication, the sadness...

And so I am back to blog...about my life and how it has changed, I believe wholeheartedly that my mum's battle with cancer and her subsequent death have changed me spiritually...and all those times when I questioned my purpose in life, one thing is now clear - I was born so much later than my siblings just so I could be the one to hold on to Mum's hand as she died...I was never meant to leave her, and I didn't. So so much suddenly made sense to me during those last few months of her life...it was like opening a box and having my purpose in life revealed to me...and I knew it was so because it felt "right"

I didn't know what my strengths were until I faced fear...fear like nothing I've ever known...but the one thing I knew was that Mum must never see me cry or be afraid, she had enough to cope with without having to worry about me...

During those five months, people were calling me "strong" and were telling me how much they admired me. To say it shocked me is an understatement. I had never thought of myself as strong...but life was forcing me to show my true colours and I did it without having anything to prove to anyone. It was autopilot all the way - focus focus focus - 100%

So seven months later I found myself extremely overweight, depressed, angry and without "focus"

By chance a wonderful Facebook friend read between the lines of a status I posted and suggested we have a chat over the phone...

This clever woman identified my need to find a "new project" and after an hour on the phone to her, my next project had manifested itself.

Next March (2015), I will be doing the 100km Coast Trek. It raises funds for the Fred Hollows Foundation.

I'm hoping to document my training, trials and tribulations on this blog.

Let the next chapter begin - I know you're shaking your head with a smile on your face, Mum. I'll be fine, because you're with me.

xo

Feeling like a chat

Well, it's been a while...

Mum is still with us, for now...

Fast forward to today, and things have certainly changed on most fronts - our lounge room has been turned into "Mum's room", with a hospital bed that has an air mattress to avoid pressure sores and pain while mum sleeps, an oxygen machine and nebuliser. There is another single bed in there for the nights when mum needs some constant vigilance, some lounge chairs and as of next week, there will be a new recliner for mum to sit up on during the day.

Fast forward to today and I weigh in at 68.5kg...that's exactly 10kg lower from my pre-Christmas weight. Like I said in my last post, the one thing I can control right now is my health, and the healthier I am the better care I can take of everyone...

How did I finally lose that stubborn weight?...I did the Whole30 in May and the rest is history...

I'd heard about Paleo before but had never looked into it deeply enouhg...who'd a thought???

It would appear grains are my number one enemy, I've tried re-introducing oats and brown rice into my diet and the effect grains have on me is amazing - I crave sugar and more grains almost immediately and just feel "hungry" all day.

I'd still like to lose another few kilos, so I will stick with this way of eating and once I reach my "goal" will see whether I can tweak things around to have grains some times as well as full cream dairy...it's all about listening to my body and watching it react to different stuff for me at the moment.


It's been a lonely old ride, this caring for mum.

I miss not having the freedom to just leave the house whenever I want to for however long...but it's the least I can do for my beautiful mother right now, even if it isn't enough. It's all about pain relief right now and that is our focus.


I can't be away from her for more than half an hour at a time because she needs me to help with toilet etc but that's ok, she is so frail and thin, and half the time is very drowsy from the amount of drugs we have to give her for the pain.


Anyway, that's my update for now, I've missed blogging and must say I haven't been reading many of my regular favourite old blogs...


I might post more regularly and I might not - it depends on how much time I have.

I thought you'd like an update, although most of you see me on FB, which is quick and easy at times like these.


See you around.

xo

When Life Throws You Curve Balls...

My mum's had a cough for about six months now...a niggly persistant cough that seems to get worse at night. A couple of months ago, as she was walking to the car one day, she was very short of breath and wheezing, had to stop several times along the few metres from the front door to the car.

My brother Eddie has taken her to her GP several times about this cough...she had two lots of antibiotics first, then a few weeks later the doctor thought it was a sinus infection, so more antibiotics and also antihystamines...

Eddie is heading O/S next week, so he wanted Mum to have a check-up before he went and they went to her GP again last Monday. This time he suggested it might be reflux so wanted to tweak her meds...but just as they were leaving he decided he wanted x-rays done just to see how her lungs were...

...there was fluid on the lungs, so he wanted to see what was "under the fluid", cat scan next...

...there is a mass taking up two thirds of her right lung...

...My mum has lung cancer...


Every time she comes over to stay and I hear her coughing I ask her "Does it hurt anywhere when you cough?", and always the answer is "No, no pain at all, it's just so annoying..."

Lately she's been up before dawn, just sitting there and watching TV because she coughs less when sitting up. Some mornings when I come in from a walk/run I find her sitting up with her TV on but asleep, her chin resting on her chest...

She's been looking so tired, she's not getting enough sleep...

We are waiting on a call from the specialist to book in an appointment. I'm guessing he'll be wanting to operate ASAP. I have mixed feelings about that and they're purely selfish...

a) I don't believe in my heart of hearts that Mum will survive surgery
b) I am afraid of what comes after that surgery, chemo? radiation? = more suffering, more pain...


I am overwhelmed and still have that feeling of floating on air but not out of happiness or elation, more a feeling of *surrealism* - this is the last thing I expected, I mean, Mum has already had cancer, she had Lymphoma and is in remission...she *shouldn't* get cancer again, right? Apparently not.



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I was lying awake this morning and thinking how I CANNOT drop my game right now. The girls are both fighting virus infections and Maddie has just revealed she's got some sleep disorder type issues - "Sleep Paralysis" and something strange that happens to her while she's dreaming, similar to "Lucid Dreams" but very scary. Our doctor wants to investigate further...

The girls need me. Mum needs me. Michael needs me.

I need to look after Me. 

***Otherwise, I cannot be there for them right now.***


Last night as I was getting off the phone with Eddie, I was sobbing, and he asked was I going to be OK? I replied, Yes, I was going to go and make a cuppa. "Forget the cuppa" he said "have a glass or two of red instead"...

Funnily enough, there was a bottle of red on my kitchen bench. A lovely client had given us a bottle to say thanks for some work we did and Michael had brought the bottle in from the car that afternoon...

I looked at that bottle and for a minute I thought to take my big brother's advice. Then I remembered very clearly the headache, the fuzzy brain, the sore swollen eyes, the dry mouth that I would experience the next morning from simply having *one* glass of red wine...worth it? Is that how I want to feel just as those around me need me most?

It was a no-brainer. I boiled the kettle and had a nice cup of tea.

The bottle of wine is in the pantry...maybe one day I'll feel like having a glass with friends to go with a nice meal. It won't be because I'm upset or lonely or confused or overwhelmed. It will be a choice.


And that led me to think clearly and make a deal with myself. No matter how hard things get for my mum over the next few weeks/months, I will continue to eat what I eat every day. No sugary sweet, no piece of organic dark chocolate, no kind of processed crap is going to make me feel or cope better.

And I will continue to get my workouts in...sitting on my bottom is not going to make me a better or more attentive carer/daughter/mother/wife...going out for a run or walk with Ollie on the other hand leaves me energised so I should use it as an outlet to *refresh* myself every day and connect with nature. My RPM and boxing classes will serve well to help me unleash frustrations and pent-up emotions...


I will not let myself go...that would be letting my loved ones down.


I promise.

The List Girl

When the girls were little and I was a stay at home mum, every night I would make a list of everything I wanted/needed to get done the next day.

The list was pretty thorough...everything from "finish ironing and put away" to "fruit and veg shopping" or "ring Nan" was on that list. Needless to say, there were days when not all the items were ticked, but they made their way onto the next day's list and so on.

I wrote those lists down on paper, usually a pretty notebook that someone had given me for Christmas or a birthday, or the type you get for free with magazines like Country Style.

I've kept many of those notebooks (horder, me?) and they are fun to look back on as I sometimes used to write down stuff like the weather, and how much I weighed that morning (daily weighing goes back a long way with me)


Then, for some reason I stopped writing my lists...I still plan my workday in a big plain notebook every morning, but that is just work tasks. I like the structure it gives my day and it also serves as a record of events if ever I need to recall something.

I guess I thought I had my homelife/housework down pat and no longer needed my lists...but in reality it's more like work took over and personal/family life took a back seat, something to be fitted in around work. I hear it's not uncommon when running your own business from home.


This morning as I was hanging out the washing, I realised I miss being really organised and on top of all things domestic. I also realised I need my lists back.

So I decided I will start doing my lists last thing at night again, and hopefully reap the rewards of being more organised in this area of my life...


***********************

On a totally different note -


My mother in law has gained about 25kg since I met her in 1992. It has been a fairly steady gain, I recall it all started when she sprained an ankle, then retired, so she wasn't as active as before and being home all day with a husband who has a sweet tooth and controls the grocery shopping is as good an excuse as any to let yourself gain weight...

She has joined Weight Watchers more times than I can remember, usually loses about five kilos max and then of course there is a wedding/birthday/funeral/Easter or Christmas party where apparently people are just there to hold her down and shovel food into her mouth so she loses count of her *Points* and the five kilos (plus some more) go back on again...

When we caught up with her and my father in law just after Christmas, she was complaining that her surgeon would not consider a knee replacement and apparently his advice to her was to "take it easy" and wear a band around her knee...I suggested Krill Oil, as both hubby and I are having a lot of success with it. I also tactfully suggested that if she lost some weight, the stress on her knees would be eased and she may experience some relief. So she accepted my advice and I gave her some guidelines to clean up her diet and hopefully see some results.

She and my father in law went on a three day cruise to celebrate his 80th birthday and got back last Sunday...I've been sending her weekly suggestions and updates, so I was a bit disappointed when I got a reply this week that went along the lines of - "With all the eating on the ship and B's birthday, I lost all sight of diet. Monday will be a new beginning"...
Here is my gripe (I suspect I'm beating a dead horse here) - eating well and for weight loss is all about choices, you can choose *what* you eat, and you can choose *how much* you eat...if a cruise that costs you $2,000 for a couple of days around Sydney Harbour does not offer you any fresh produce or leaner alternatives, then I want my money back...and even if the food on offer is not the most conducive to weight loss, then you can control your portions the *how much* to eat part of the equation. The other thing that bothered me was the statement "with all the eating on the ship"...was it an "eating cruise"??? Surely there was swimming, walking and other activities available? Or did they go there just to eat?? It certainly sounds like it...
Apparently, the week that followed was one celebration after another for my f-i-l's 80th, their Rotary Club, their neighbours, their choir, their church, ALL put on a celebratory lunch/dinner/afternoon tea...I know it takes some discipline, but if she were serious about losing weight, she could have said "NO" to cake - I am no weight loss guru or wonderful example, but I only eat cake on *my* birthday, and then it has to be a cake of my choosing, and a small slice by most people's standards, and hubby and the girls know that I want that cake out of the house and out of my sight within ten minutes...
And the final gripe about her message is - "Monday will be a new beginning"...what's wrong with *TODAY*??? Why wait til Monday???

aaargh!!! I should just butt out, I know...but it really angers me that she is just another contributor to the stats that place Australia as one of the most obese countries in the world.

The one good thing she has achieved is that her son (my hubby) has always said he will not be in the same state of health as his parents, and so far so good. He has never been overweight, his blood pressure is always normal and he is a very fit man.

At least we can break the cycle....


Rant over.

Did you know...?

Hello there - I found this over at Norma's blog and decided to do my own version...just to show my face around here :-)


1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Yes, my grandmother was a big fan of all things Hollywood. She named my mum Norma after the 1930's actress Norma Shearer (google Marie Antoinette movie of that era) and when I was born, she chose Sandra after the 1960's star Sandra Dee...even though my maiden name started with "L", my nickname has always been Sandra Dee, so it was appropriate that my married name starts with D...

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

I cried yesterday - one of our kittens got very sick and died last Sunday...I nursed him for about three days and he finally gave up the fight, he was resting on my lap and we were looking up at the sky and the big tall gum trees he never got to climb...my eyes are welling up as I type...
(RIP little Freddie)

3 DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

I've never thought about it - although I use it less and less these days...if I'm trying to write thoughts down, it's a mess because my brain is faster than my hands, but I do a nice job when writing a Thank you card etc


4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Hot Spanish salami


5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Yes - two gorgeous and talented teenage girls. One is arty and gifted musically (courtesy of her dad) and the other is crazy about dance and also gifted musically...they are both very kind and compassionate human beings, and that's enough for me.


6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

It takes a very special, awesome sort of woman with no hang-ups to be friends with me...I don't like copy-cat or twin/joined at the hip friendships...

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Is there any other form of entertainment...?


8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Not even if you paid me. Absolutely NOT

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Not a fan of cereal...does oatmeal count?

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

No

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

I'm told I'm a bit of a "rock" emotionally, physically, I'm getting stronger with age

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Not a fan of ice cream at all...I can (and have) lived without it for years...

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

In women - their hair.

In men - their shoulders.

15. RED OR PINK?

Red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

I find something to critisize someone for just about every day...

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

My dad, and my little girl who never got to grow up (still-born ten years ago next month)

18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?

Consistency ...

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

Hot pink Havaiannas

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

A handful of almonds

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

A pot of soup bubbling away, the fish tank.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

Red

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

Chanel No 5,
my husband's neck,
freesias

24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?

Very important

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?

I live in my dream mountain hideaway but I'd like a beach house to run away to for three weeks every year...

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Basketball and soccer

27. HAIR COLOR?

Brown

28. EYE COLOR?

Brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

No

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

Right now - pears

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Classics

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Lincoln

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Black tank top with a multi coloured "hippy" top (brown, red, pale pink, pale green)

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

Autumn, but if it has to be Summer or Winter, then it's WINTER!

35. FAVORITE DESSERT?

Tiramisu

36. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

Running and RPM classes by choice, strength training by necessity

37. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

Computer

38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

Lost by Cheryl Strayed

39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

A 2012 calendar

40. FAVORITE SOUND?

The birdlife around here first thing in the morning

41. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?

Hard to choose, but right now - anything 90's

42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

South America

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

I speak four languages apart from English, it's a hobby...
Knitting,
I'm good with strangers' kids

44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Uruguay - South America...my parents and theirs before them were "explorers"...my background is French/Spanish

45. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

Blue Mountains - 2 hours west of Sydney, Australia

46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

Grey weatherboards with white trim and a dark red front door

47. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

A dark red called "Seduce" by Ford - it goes a lot faster than the white version...

48. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?

...oh no, is this it???

Lots of reading but not much writing...

That sums up my Blogging life at the moment. I spend about an hour each morning reading a lot of my favourite blogs by women who are awesome and keep me motivated and I also read some blogs by women who motivate me in a different way - sort of a "what not to do" way...(but we'll leave those alone)


2012 was a non-event. I could go on and list all the stuff that went wrong in 2012, or "not to plan" etc but hey, it's over, I'd rather leave it behind me.

One thing I do know : weight loss was zero, nada...a fail of epic proportions

I could console myself with the fact that I did not gain...but I am not in "maintenance" mode, so that's hardly consolation...I could list some excuses : the onset of peri-menopause, a foot injury that wasn't fixed til July (and what a relief it was to get it fixed!) looking after my elderly mother, running the business on my own, raising teenage daughters.

There, I've listed the excuses, and that's what I'm calling them. Big Fat Excuses.


So let's move on, shall we? 2013. I am normally against New Year's Resolutions because I see so many of them broken...the gym is packed for the first three weeks of the year. It's impossible to find a parking space in the lot, and us regulars have to park a few blocks away, if you don't get to RPM before it starts, you are very likely to miss out on a bike, or miss out on your "usual" spot...etc etc
Come February things are usually back to normal...

I have some goals I want to kick this year, and I will mention them as I go (if I get the old Blogging mojo back)

For today, let's just concentrate on one massive goal that I will achieve by the end of March. Get this ass down to 60kg. That's it. I don't need to elaborate other than say that when Autumn hits, I will be rocking my size 10 (I think that's a size 8 in US sizes...hello US readers!!?) skinny jeans and feeling great.

*****************************

If I felt like  I was losing momentum at all over the past couple of days or about to drop my game, I have to thank two wonderful people in my life for keeping me inspired...no, it's none of you gorgeous kick-ass bloggers that I adore...it's my brother Eddie and my neighbour Kim (I think I bitched posted about her a while back...the neighbour who wanted to do C25K with me)

This morning I went to the fruit shop to get some fruit and veg before the heatwave struck and guess who was the only other person in the shop...that's right, Kim!...we made some small talk about the weather, which led to her asking "you're not going to gym today, surely?!" my reply was "actually, I really love the 4.30pm RPM class, so yes, I was planning to..." "In this heat? you're mad!" was her response..."I work up a sweat at the gym anyway, and it is air conditioned..." I replied. I paid for my groceries and smiled and said ta-tah...

If for one minute I'd considered that it might be "too hot" to go to my RPM class, Kim's comment certainly made up my mind for me...

I was having a conversation about a rather overweight member of our family with my brother Eddie. Apparently Eddie has been giving this relative some health and weight loss advice (he is three years younger than me) and this guy had come up with every lame excuse under the sun, one of the best being "I've accepted that this is just my build..."....ummm OK...none of my business. No comment.

What did get me though, was something Eddie said - it went along the lines of : once we reach "a certain age" it becomes almost impossible to lose weight, as you'd know, Sandra...


OK. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH EDDIE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU'VE MOTIVATED ME.

Yes, I'm motivated to lose the weight...but I think I'm more motivated to prove Eddie (and countless others who share this belief  WRONG...


Anyway, that's it for me. I have a sink full of dishes which I'm considering leaving until the morning...We've so far survived the big bad heatwave without any bush fires in our area, but hey, this is only one day in January...they say it's going to be a long hot Summer...who knows what's round the corner? All I know is that a cool change is about to hit and it means a good night's sleep. It's hubby's band practice night so I might as well get into bed and watch some girly crap on TV or read a book uninterrupted...


Am I the only person who gets motivated "in reverse"...?...Tell me how well I'm doing and I relax...tell me I'm too old, crazy, too weak, and I just HAVE to prove you wrong... ;-) <insert evil laugh>

Bye for now.

xxx

ROCKET SCIENCE!!!

* Eliminate added sugar and refined carbs
* Eliminate all "junk food"
* Eliminate alcohol (particularly red wine)
* Drink two litres of H20 a day
* Work out 6 times a week, at least half an hour of cardio
* Get 7-8 hours good sleep
* Meditate for 15 minutes every morning
* Sit in the sunlight for at least half an hour just before mid-day
* Invest in some good quality supplements and take them as directed!




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I've been really listening to my body/moods etc lately and I have found out - some of it by trial and error -, that the above list can make a huge difference to my health, appearance, mood, fitness and weight loss endeavours.


Ah, if only I'd known all that I know now 20 years ago...but they say it's never too late.


Now to stick with the formula.....

November...

Just a very quick post - November is here and my life is crazy-upside-down and all kinds of busy...not in a bad way, but in a way that I just know I have to prioritise or pay the price when everything falls in a heap...so it means less time on-line if I want my work and family life to run smoothly.

I am still plodding along with C25K. I haven't skipped one session, and I haven't (yet) walked any time that I was meant to be running. That means a lot to me, as I sometimes look at the session coming up and think "No way I will be able to run for 5 mins without stoppin"etc etc...but when the time comes, I just keep on running until the little voice says "Begin walking", so I do...:-)

On the home front, a friend is helping me give the girls' rooms a total "make-over" and I am so excited!!! I will probably post some photos when all is done. My girls have lived this long with a mish-mash of furniture in their rooms, some new, some handed down from older cousins or grandparents when they've downsized...this time they are getting rooms to suit their tastes and personalities and their changing needs as they enter their late (Maddie) and mid (Cassie) teenage years...

...Dreaming of mid-December when everything seems to slow right down and I can stop to take a breath again...


Til next time...

Strong Runner

Week 3 Day 1 of C25K done and dusted today.

*****************

I can not believe I just typed that...see, I've always wanted to run...it has been a dream of mine for a long time. I started C25K earlier this year with Leonie, who was also doing 12WBT at the time (and still is, I believe). We would run together with Leonie holding her iPhone and telling me when to run and when to walk. It was working well until the pain in my foot got too much and I decided to do something about it.

After about four months of wearing a little tear shaped insert in my shoes I can report that I am pain-free and can even wear high heels for a couple of hours without pain.

So I decided to give C25K another go, this time on my own, listening to some of my favourite tunes and at the gym on the treadmill...I am not being my usual perfectionist self and although I would eventually like to run outdoors I figure this is a good way to learn.

Previously I would say "I can't run"...I had tried running, but would always get stitches and simply couldn't breathe properly. I would last a couple of minutes and my lungs would feel like they were about to explode, my throat felt like it was on fire...it was awful.

I have been following C25K for three weeks now and it dawned on me recently that I am just plodding long very nicely, with none of those symptoms showing up at all...

Last week, during one of my sessions, I noticed something. When I hear the little voice that says "Begin running", I also hear another *voice* that says "shoulders back, chest open, arms loose, chin up"...and then it hit me!! When we started C25K all those months ago, Leonie attended a running clinic a few times and she would share what she'd learnt with me...those tips were given to her and she would always remind me whenever we had to run...How cool is that? It's stayed in my memory and become second nature. Wow!

I have been quite easy on myself in that I am not stressing about how many calories I burn during my *runs*...and apart from a RPM class here and there, that is all I have been doing.


So, it's time to crank things up a little.


Time to become a STRONG RUNNER....


The idea is to complete C25K Week 3 and then start adding some strength training in there. I have some excellent training ideas/programs collected over the last few years which have served me very well.


I am actually getting quite excited about my workouts, which is a place I haven't been for ages. Nice. Hold on to it. Bottle it, maybe?


Now it's off to bed with a cuppa and some magazines...but first, I might have a nice long stretch.

Good night all.


x

Weigh in

Loss - 800g  (1.7lbs...sounds better in pounds :-) )

Not great but it's a loss.

Workouts are getting better and more regular, but I'm feeling very hungry..time to start tracking everything I eat again to bring in some bigger losses.

Love Thy Neighbour...?

We've been in our current home just over 12 months now...we know most of our neighbours by sight, a couple of them by name but because of the nature of the street, we've been able to keep to ourselves as much as we want to.

We live in a "cul-de-sac", with our three acres being at the very end of it and our driveway is fairly steep, so in fact we are down in the valley and are the most secluded property in our street.

There is a couple who live about 4 doors up from us and they have a little four year old girl. They seem nice enough and we sometimes run into them at the coffee shop and sometimes stop for a quick chat if they're out in their yard when we walk or drive past...


The other day I posted on FB that I'd started C25K...I haven't been on FB long, and I honestly use it to have some fun - no negativity or bitchiness allowed, the minute it gets there I'm out...

Anyway, this neighbour, Kim, friended me on FB a couple of months ago and sometimes comments on my status etc

Michael ran into her and her husband the other day and she asked him what C25K was...Michael explained, and she immediately said "Tell Sandra I want to run too...ask her can I do C25K with her..."



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I don't know why, but this sent me into a total spin...I am loving my C25K time...I just put my earphones in, shuffle my C25K playlist and off I go, doing as I'm told and feeling such a sense of achievement. It's becoming a little bit of time that I really look forward to and somehow, the thought of sharing it with someone else makes me uncomfortable...

If you remember, earlier in the year I tried running with a "buddy", but then my foot pain flared up and when I took time off to get that fixed, she moved on and is now running fun runs all over the place...

I proved then that it doesn't work learning to run with someone else - we are all going to take a different time to get there. Add to that the fact that I literally run "on impluse"...I know *which* days I'm going to run, but then it's usually a case of finding a free hour during the day, grabbing my stuff and heading to the gym, which brings me to another thing - I have been running on the treadmill. Sure, my aim is to some day hit the trails or the pavement but for now, the treadmill suits me fine...how am I supposed to run *with* this woman on treadmills...?


So now I'm feeling all kinds of nasty and my *inner Sandra Dee* is pointing her finger at me and telling me that I'm looking for too many excuses not to include Kim in my C25K and that I should be nice...because everyone expects me to be "Sandra D"...


I'd love to hear from you runners, past and present...did running or learning to run work better for you with someone or is running indeed a lone sport...?

C25K

I'm sure there's a post out there on this Blog with the same title...

I started C25K ealier this year and it was the thing that brought the pain in my foot to a head (is there a pun there?). With one thing and another, this has not been the best year for me fitness-wise, but it is not over yet!
There are still two and a half months left of it and I can at least start heading in the right direction when it comes to my fitness goals (yes, I DO have some!...)

So yesterday I did Week 1, Day 1 of C25K. It went well. I did it on the treadmill at they gym because it was blowing a gale outside, and the gym is only 5 mins away from the girls' school and I had to pick them up.

I did it "easily", I used to have trouble with my breathing...it was something I used to say, like "I have long fingers"..."I have trouble with my breathing when I run"...

But yesterday I forgot all about having trouble with my breathing, I was short on time, so I just got to the gym, jumped on the treadmill and listened to my Podcast and did as I was told...warm up, jog, walk...just DID IT.


So this morning, feeling pretty chuffed that tomorrow I will be doing Week 1 Day 2, I started wondering why I was so chuffed...why I even bothered to come back to C25K. I mean, the first few weeks are hardly high calorie burners, I can burn more calories during the first three tracks of RPM...

And then it hit me (yes, I am a little slow sometimes)...I WANT TO RUN. There, I've said it out loud...I want to be one of those people who say "I'm doing a 10K fun run next month"...or heaven help us "I'm doing a half marathon with Magda"...and let's face it, runners have *great* legs. Yes, I'm vain and will be til the end...I have given thought to leaving a list of "what not to dress me in" when I'm finally placed in a coffin by those I leave behind.

But I digress. Here is my goal, out loud and for all to hear. It's more concrete than any goal I've ever had.



I WANT TO RUN


...and only I can make it happen. One foot in front of the other...stick with C25K and learn, learn, learn.

In the meantime, I am doing well...this has become my philosophy and it's working.

Hope you're having a great week...crazy weather around Australia...muggy and overcast here today - hard to believe only last Friday it was 4 degrees max and we had snow!!!


Must run, I can hear the dishes calling my name ;-)

Not a good start to the day...

Let's just say this morning has not been good, in fact life sucks at the moment, but I don't want to elaborate...to top it all off, one of Maddie's bunnies got out of his cage during the night and we can't find him...it's been raining most of the night so I'm hoping he's found shelter maybe under the house and will come out when he gets hungry or when the sun shines again...

I needed to pop into the supermarket for some cat food and ibuprofen tablets...the minute I got in the car, I started imagining how I'd get some caramel slices so I could come home, make a cup of tea and drown my sorrows in sugar.

Well I went into the grocery store and beat my own world record at how quickly I could walk in and out...it was almost like I was scared of/running away from the caramel slices...and I guess I was!

When I got home I realised I 'm hungry, so I warmed up the rice and veggies I had in the fridge for my lunches and added a small can of tuna and a drizzle of olive oil. My sweet treat is a banana with some PB, and of course that cup of tea is brewing...


The day doesn't have to end the way it began...

Sick

Managed to drag Michael to our GP with me yesterday and we both have secondary infections, mainly in the sinuses.

We are both on antibiotics and he is still in the bad books because had he gone to see a doctor when he started feeling so unwell, he would now be fully recovered...


Anyway, I'm not going to go on about it - just take my meds and keep the multivitamins up and get myself well...


Week 2 Loss - .9kg (almost 2 lbs)

Total Loss  - 2.1kg (4.6 lbs)

Happy with that, at least I'm not putting on weight because I'm sick. I am hardly moving at all so when I do get back into some workouts, I hope the weight loss will accelerate.


Bye for now.

...I sure as hell hope so...because I'm getting tired of being sad... :-(

Wet Weekend

As much as I love the rain and as much as my water tank *needed* some filling up, waking up to a grey, misty and wet morning just hasn't helped things around here...

Yes, I've still got the cold/flu. I'm coughing up a lung and feeling pretty crappy...no thanks to *someone* who shall remain nameless, who is too cool to see the Dr when he obviously needs some help shaking the bug he's been harbouring for nearly a month.

Bitter, *Moi*??? Never!

So I'm afraid it's yet another post where there is zero to report on the workout front, although this morning I woke up with sore legs, and for that split second before you remember where you are and what you did yesterday, I thought "Oh, that must have been a good leg workout yesterday because I'm sore"...only to realise my legs and most of the joints in my body are aching because I have the flu!!!


All is good (and boring) on the diet front, but I've come to the realisation that this is just the way it's going to have to be if I'm going to get out of this rut and drop some weight...I've re-discovered my love of brown rice, so my lunch dilemma has been solved. I just cook up a big batch of rice every few days, and then lunches are half a cup of rice, with a protein like chicken, tuna or boiled egg and a plate full of greens and whatever other veggies I fancy. I drizzle a tiny bit of olive oil over the top and it's become my favourite lunch - keeps me going all the way til I nibble on a few nuts or a cupful of berries in the afternoon.


I must say it's been hard not to sprinkle salt on everything lately. This flu has left me with very little in the way of taste, and everything tastes a bit too bland...


Last weekend of the school holidays, and of course, Cassie has to finish it off with a bang - sorry, that should be Eisteddfod - so tomorrow we are off at about 10am and have no idea what time we'll be home as they are performing in three different sections and it can take up to 2 hours per session, and we don't even know whether there are big gaps in between...


Daylight savings starts tonight - part of me is looking forward to it but part of me says we shouldn't muck around with our body clocks...it will be nice to have slightly longer days - Ollie may get some late evening walks :-)


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I know you really want to know this...

Breakfast - (my beloved) rolled oats with chia seeds, a drizzle of honey and cinnamon

Mid-morning - small skim latte

Lunch - roquette, tomato, capsicum and poached chicken drizzled with olive oil with about 1/4 cup of brown rice on the side

Today's lunch was de-licious...I followed it with half a pink grapefruit, I was craving some citrus (must be this damned flu) so went with the grapefruit. Divine.


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My brain feels heavy and so does the rest of my body. Not as in, weight-heavy (which I don't doubt it is), but more the tired-heavy kind...I am such a BAD patient...there's nothing *patient* about me, I just want to get rid of this illness. Remind me to be grateful for good health next week when I start whinging about something else, please?

So here I am in front of the laptop, stalking blogs near and far, when I should be working...I have been doing the bare minimum but honestly cannot think straight.


Not sure whether I should be seeing the doctor...it hurts on my left side when I swallow, I think I may have a swollen tonsil or something, and both my ears are very sore...I can't take codeine, so am going to the chemist to get some Otrivin, it's been recommended by a friend and apparently should make a big difference in unblocking my nose and ears etc...


In other news, my friend's daughter gave birth to a little girl on Monday afternoon (this is the 16 year old I wrote about a while back)...I sent a big bunch of flowers and a hamper to the hospital but won't be dropping in until this bug is gone. Maddie is acting a bit strange about this baby...she usually loves babies, but at the moment, it's almost like she's trying to say "Why are you making such a fuss of this? If it had been *me* falling pregnant at 15 you would have killed me"...and she's right - but I also admire my friend for making the choice to support her daughter and now grand-daughter and it is their choice and not something I can judge or withdraw my friendship because of it...


Bye for now - if you don't hear from me again,it's because I've died of the flu... :-/

I really really needed to hear this today - but that's a whole post for another day...



"Maybe we need to not care about what others can "get away with" and just learn to take care of our own body, the only one we we'll ever have, and the one for which we are 100% responsible. Envying someone slim who eats junk food and doesn't gain weight is like envying a lifelong cigarette smoker who never gets lung cancer...pointless and petty.  Aspire to be fit and healthy and to treat your body with respect. Expect -- no, DEMAND -- good things from yourself and for yourself. What others do and don't do/have and don't have is not of importance."



Thank you to Norma for allowing me to quote her here. Norma is a no-nonsense, straight talking girl from Boston in the US who knows a thing or two about re-shaping your body and training hard.


Hump Day is living up to its name around here...just the same old - playing taxi to my teenagers and attempting to get some work done while feeling like my head is exploding.



There are three variations to the common cold, they are (in order of severity) -

The Common Cold

The Man Cold

The Sandra Cold


Needless to say, I am suffering from the latter and things aren't pretty around here...

Day 7/112 - Weigh in #1

Weight loss since last Wednesday - 1.2kg


I'm boring myself silly with posting my calories on here so unless I need to tighten things up, I don't think it's necessary.

Weight loss isn't bad, but part of me is disappointed that a couple of days ago the scale showed about half a kilo lower...water etc etc. It is what it is.

This is a good average to aim for, as long as I can keep on losing then I'm confident I'm doing the right thing.


Very cranky with hubby for giving me his flu...he's had it for a couple of weeks, coughing all over the place and ignoring me when I've suggested he should go to the doctor's...

Now I've got a nasty case of it - I feel like crap, and we all know I am *not* a good patient...


On that note, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself so I'll cut this post short and stalk a few blogs before getting onto ironing basket #47  (...I skipped #'s 45 and 46). I am on a mission to get the ironing and washing up to date by the end of the holidays. Term 4 is going to run like clockwork around here ! YAY!


xx